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Fun things to say to pagans, chaos magick assholes, etc.

Started by Doktor Howl, December 22, 2014, 07:01:49 PM

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Doktor Howl

Mind you, I'm not trying to make them better.  I'm trying to get them to push their head farther into the poop pile.  Because I hate them.  In any case:

1.  If you think about it, isn't an "incantation" just a phone number or IP address to another world that's just as real as this one?

2.  They call it "confirmation bias".  We call it a successful casting.

3.  Did you know that Jesus said ANYONE could do what he did?  Yep.  Luke 17:6 "And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you."  And what is faith but concentrated will?  Ergo, magick works.

4.  There's really only a handful of Gods.  They use different names for different occasions.  This is why there is no problem with mixing pantheons.

5.  You will notice that people work really hard and never get ahead.  In fact, the harder they work, the poorer they stay.  The ones who get ahead are quite obviously using supernatural assistance.

Feel free to add to this.
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

 :lulz: Oh I like this. I'll have to try to think of some.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


hooplala

6. Tumblr is the best place to cast sigils into the macroverse.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

QueenThera

7. Every weird writer you love has encoded messages into their writing. All of them. Even the ones who hate you.
Often incoherent. Tends to ramble on about various topics.
Hopes to get beyond that.

Formerly BrotherPrickle

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: BrotherPrickle on December 22, 2014, 11:18:33 PM
7. Every weird writer you love has encoded messages into their writing. All of them. Even the ones who hate you.

I think you mean especially the ones who hate you.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Doktor Howl

"There are no coincidences."

"Everything happens for a reason."
Molon Lube

Nephew Twiddleton

I forget who came up with it before but it was fucking brilliant.

Something about not wanting to increase the energy of the vibes because more energetic wavelengths cause cancer, so you want to lower the frequency of your vibrations.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Nepos twiddletonis on December 23, 2014, 12:15:31 AM
I forget who came up with it before but it was fucking brilliant.

Something about not wanting to increase the energy of the vibes because more energetic wavelengths cause cancer, so you want to lower the frequency of your vibrations.

That's BRILLIANT.

Also maybe throw in something about how too many vibes keep your baby awake.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 23, 2014, 12:26:24 AM
Quote from: Nepos twiddletonis on December 23, 2014, 12:15:31 AM
I forget who came up with it before but it was fucking brilliant.

Something about not wanting to increase the energy of the vibes because more energetic wavelengths cause cancer, so you want to lower the frequency of your vibrations.

That's BRILLIANT.

Also maybe throw in something about how too many vibes keep your baby awake.

I wish I could remember who it was. I want to say it was Net, Junkenstein, Demolition Squid or Paes. I can't even remember the thread it was in.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

THE QLIPHITISER

#9
Tell a Pagan that they're not a real Pagan.

Tell a Chaos Magician that they are dull version of yourself.





_______________________________________________________________________________

Intriguing side note to "serious" (I know it's a paradox) Discordians here interested:

Chaos Magic is what you get when you do the following -

* Squish a bunch of magic traditions together (without considering the fundamental meanings of those said traditions)
* Try to deny the traditions it stole from
* Take chaos, without humor
* Remove the philosophical and transformational based aspects of the stolen traditions
* Take an entirely subjective path (not in a Discordian way though)


It's basically a blank, dull approach to magic  :fap:

It's founded on several ideas that mirror Discordianism but without the humor, it misses the point of both chaos and magic - which is ironic to say the least  :lulz:
Follower of the 'Kacalinstanphia' branch of Discordianism, which emphasizes a hyper-meta-doctrine of parachaos field theory in relation to dancing submariner zombies, in accordance with Eris' decent into the megazone of the universal mind - which cannot be seen but is felt by all.

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Everything is a lie, nothing is relative

Dildo Argentino

I usually start out by declaring that while I don't know about others, I personally very certainly do not own a soul. The ensuing conversation is sometimes highly entertaining. A bit like pretending not to know who Zizek is. https://www.thehairpin.com/2016/07/the-best-time-i-pretended-i-hadnt-heard-of-slavoj-zizek/
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

The Wizard Joseph

Most of this and especially op is  :lulz: :lulz:

The auric field has three levels above the normal out of the box one. You just have to get up to 5D and you get hard light. At 10D you get a liquid crystal aura and a holy guardian angel for no extra cost! A large enough quartz in the home can cause this automatically!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl