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Theological Questions!

Started by THE QLIPHITISER, January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM

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minuspace

Quote from: OS Not Found on January 22, 2018, 02:57:16 AM
Where are the sisters of all the only begotten sons?

Seems odd to specify sons if there were not daughters to distinguish them from, else they would just be only begotten children
"Signs point to incest"

ReverendJesus

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.
~Rev. Jesus "H" Christ

HMGMA #D-1-10535-13
Episkopos, Flying Squirrels on Fire Cabal [FSoFCabal.com]
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Minister, Universal Life Church
Clergy, Spiritual Humanist Church
Reverend, Open Ministry
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Legionnaire, Cabal of Cabbage(tm)
Member, Satanic Temple
Member, Secular Student Alliance
Citizen, Aerican Empire

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THE QLIPHITISER

Quote from: ReverendJesus on January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 AM
Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.

True, it is quite a political thing (however whiny it looks). There are still a lot of places where Christianity is socially and legally held in much higher esteem than other religions.


Namaste and Om to you too  8)
Follower of the 'Kacalinstanphia' branch of Discordianism, which emphasizes a hyper-meta-doctrine of parachaos field theory in relation to dancing submariner zombies, in accordance with Eris' decent into the megazone of the universal mind - which cannot be seen but is felt by all.

0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞


Everything is a lie, nothing is relative

minuspace

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on January 20, 2018, 08:09:46 PM
Quote from: St Accelerated Evolution on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Wanna bet LaVey had a copy of the PD?
Anton LeVey Speak Of The Devil
httpx://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Nlu7LMWUI
Caught the first few minutes, much funny, camp-endearing.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: ReverendJesus on January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.

Well said, but you missed one essential point:  Nobody owes anyone any kind of explanation for anything.

Fuck you, I do what I want.
Molon Lube

Eumenes

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AM
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:
Yes. Self-assumed obsolescence; wherein the Unique is subsumed by legion.

QuoteDoes Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?
They're drinking buddies.
The Abridged True Story of YHVH-1

QuoteDo Santa and Satan get along?
There are many of both; too non-specific. Outlook unresolvable.
I suggest you direct multiple inquiries to Santa(s)' postal drop box in Uummannaq, Greenland.

QuoteIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?
Depends which organization owns the brand & trademark rights, as well as how zealously they litigate.
[Aforementioned terms applied interchangeably towards militant/liberal/crusading factions]
[For the purposes of these statements & their interpretations the term (LIBERAL) is to be strictly held to only be in reference to the use of monetary investment capital, &/or leveraged private lands, &/or any unforeseen methods of marketing &/or usury]

QuoteIs Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?
I have no regard for the answer to this.

QuoteI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?
Your local library's overnight drop-off.

QuoteIf two people from three different religions all hate each other, does that make them friends?
The opposition of an enemy is rarely a friend: all enemies should be welcomed as friends.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

#21
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?

I think of him as more of a spammer than a cult leader

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?

In the first case, no, they're opposed. In the second case I do think the Son of Sam might get along nicely with Herbert Mullin if they ever found themselves moved to the same prison.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

ReverendJesus

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?
[/quote]

Don't forget The Satanic Temple, who are about as theistic as...well...atheists
~Rev. Jesus "H" Christ

HMGMA #D-1-10535-13
Episkopos, Flying Squirrels on Fire Cabal [FSoFCabal.com]
Ordained Minister, Church of the Latter-Day Dude
Minister, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Reverend, United Church of Bacon
Minister, Universal Life Church
Clergy, Spiritual Humanist Church
Reverend, Open Ministry
Legionnaire, SORPOEE
Legionnaire, Cabal of Cabbage(tm)
Member, Satanic Temple
Member, Secular Student Alliance
Citizen, Aerican Empire

Answer our survey for a chance* to win one free miracle of your choice!

Faust

Quote from: ReverendJesus on February 02, 2018, 06:37:42 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMIs Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?

Don't forget The Satanic Temple, who are about as theistic as...well...atheists
[/quote]

They are dogmatic Randians which is almost worse, Liberatarianism with candles
Sleepless nights at the chateau

minuspace

""If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!""
—R.J. [://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,38291.msg1416292.html#msg1416292]

This guy gets it.

THE QLIPHITISER

It's not exactly a serious thread, but whatever.


The Christianism vs Satanity thing, is interesting; as there are many people that fuse religions together in a 'customer order' way, I find the notion of this hilarious (particularly for orthodox, conservative Christians)

Quote"Hello, I am a Christian and love Jesus. I was wondering if Christianity is comparable with Satanism because I am starting to find Satanism attractive. Can I be both a satanist and a christian?"


Also, Christianism isn't Christianity, Satanity isn't satanism  :lulz:


Explaining the joke though.......aye, the only way you'll follow my train of thought?  :eek: I thought we where discordians  :wink:
Follower of the 'Kacalinstanphia' branch of Discordianism, which emphasizes a hyper-meta-doctrine of parachaos field theory in relation to dancing submariner zombies, in accordance with Eris' decent into the megazone of the universal mind - which cannot be seen but is felt by all.

0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞


Everything is a lie, nothing is relative

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 PM
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Silly, right? What they really ought to do is align themselves with Eris and/or BOB without believing in their literal existence...
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Historically it was PO box 140306 Dallas Texas but I think that got changed
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.


a plague on both your houses -Mercutio


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8


It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft


He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q


You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata


Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

THE QLIPHITISER

Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 05, 2018, 12:33:21 AM
Quote from: Space Adventures Of Christ on January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 AMI wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Historically it was PO box 140306 Dallas Texas but I think that got changed

Nice reference  :lulz:
Follower of the 'Kacalinstanphia' branch of Discordianism, which emphasizes a hyper-meta-doctrine of parachaos field theory in relation to dancing submariner zombies, in accordance with Eris' decent into the megazone of the universal mind - which cannot be seen but is felt by all.

0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞


Everything is a lie, nothing is relative

THE QLIPHITISER

Is it hypocritical to not be hypocritical?

Are Elohim, Allah, Yahweh and Jehovah friends or enemies?

Is the Principia Discordia your favorite tv show?

What is the ultimate goal of immortality?

Is there an after-after-after-after-afterlife?

Follower of the 'Kacalinstanphia' branch of Discordianism, which emphasizes a hyper-meta-doctrine of parachaos field theory in relation to dancing submariner zombies, in accordance with Eris' decent into the megazone of the universal mind - which cannot be seen but is felt by all.

0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞


Everything is a lie, nothing is relative