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YEAH! Take that, cancer, YOU FUCKING FUCK!

Started by POFP, February 07, 2018, 04:38:11 PM

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POFP

Great news coming out of the field of medicine recently: We, as a species, have found foolproof ways to cure cancer.

As it turns out, the most effective cancer killer is actually the body's immune system. The body's main microbe-killing cells are called killer T-Cells, which attach to foreign cells and threats once they've been binded with that threat's corresponding antibody. Antibodies are created by recognition and verification of the antigen structure of a foreign body by the T Helper Cells, and subsequent release by B-Cells. The interactions between antigens, antibodies, and the two types of T-Cells are the main focus of current cancer-cure research.

For those with a subset of blood cancers, they were able to narrow down a specific protein/antigen structure associated with the cancer cells and re-program killer T Cells to attack cells that contained this protein/antigen structure using gene modification therapy. They extract your T Cells from your blood using a transfusion machine, modify the genes, and plug them back into your bloodstream for immediate reactivation. Once the T Cells are released back into the body, they begin relentlessly attacking every single cancerous cell they find. This includes malignant cancer cells and benign tumors. This method has been tested on people, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Almost every single patient treated went into PERMANENT REMISSION after the FIRST TREATMENT.

In a recent experiment with Mice, they tested a new method of immunotherapy involving training of killer T Cells, instead of just genetic reprogramming. Training a killer T Cell involves presenting them with a pre-constructed antibody that corresponds with the antigen structure of the cancer cells being targeted. They made a slight genetic alteration using a small DNA sequence added to the T Cells to make them more receptive to the specified antibody at their receptor sites (Areas where signaling proteins like antibodies bind to), and then shoved them both into a vial together. Then, they were injected into the tumors of the mice, allowing the T Cells to immediately begin attacking tumor cells and activating other T Cells within the tumor to boost the attack. As with the last experiment, almost every single organism tested went into permanent remission after the first treatment. The three mice that didn't get cured on the first treatment were completely cured after the second treatment.

While this is a HUGE breakthrough in medicine, there are a few risks you take when undergoing procedures like this. The first thing you have to worry about, which applies mostly to the first experimental treatment, is making sure that no other native cells in your body have the same antigen structure as the one the killer T Cells are looking for. When other native cells have the same antigen structure as the ones the T Cells are looking for, the T Cells will attack them along with the cancerous cells. This was the reality for at least one patient who received this treatment. She had a cancer of the colon/small intestines, which they reprogrammed some of her T cells to attack. Unfortunately, they didn't know that a type of cell in her lungs presented with the same antigen structure as the cancer cells in her gut. She died because the T Cells did irreparable damage to her lungs before they realized what was happening. T Cells work very fast.

The speed of T Cell work leads us to our next worry when receiving treatments like this: Cytotoxic Protein Storm.

When all cells die (Especially Tumor cells), they release a small amount of toxic material into the blood stream that is usually capable of being picked up by your immune system and filtered out. These toxic proteins and dead cell materials are capable of causing minor troubles in controlled amounts. In fact, some of the symptoms of Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy can be attributed to the death of cancer cells. But since chemo and radiation kill cancer cells at a moderate rate, the body is usually capable of withstanding this minor toxicity. But the rate at which the T Cells kill cancer cells is so high that it actually floods your body with large amounts of toxic, dead cell material that can cause severe problems in those who are immunologically compromised, or who simply have a weakener immune system.

That being said, I'd argue that these caveats are a small price to pay for the cure to cancer. The second method, which is far safer than the first, is bound for human trials over the coming months/years.
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Quote from: PoFP on February 07, 2018, 04:38:11 PMfoolproof

What if the patient has cancer and AIDS

EDIT:
Other than that sounds great though.
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POFP

Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 07, 2018, 04:49:07 PM
Quote from: PoFP on February 07, 2018, 04:38:11 PMfoolproof

What if the patient has cancer and AIDS

EDIT:
Other than that sounds great though.

AIDS involves the destruction of T Helper Cells, which aren't the target of these treatment methods. As long as a person has killer T Cells, it doesn't matter what else they have.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.