Author Topic: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society  (Read 1274 times)

Doktor Howl

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The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« on: February 08, 2018, 03:41:33 am »
Okay, so the Good Doktor is just getting over a 6 day bout with the flu, in which I crapped my own body weight and killed the local sanitation department.  In a fit of stupidity, I decided that the best thing to do on day 6 was stop having Jenn stick me with IVs and instead dose up on Imodium.  Just in time for the shits to stop on their own, mind you, with the predictable result. 

Dok hasn't shat in 40 hours, and nothing good can come of this.  I've drank so much water that my throat is raw from chlorine, and STILL NOTHING.  It's just all LURKING there.

I mean, eventually, the spirit is gonna move me, and I can't be held responsible for the results.

Blame Janssen Pharmaceutica.  I'm the VICTIM, here.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Cramulus

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2018, 01:48:02 pm »
when it finally happens it's gonna be a LEEEEEROY JENKINS moment

PoFP

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2018, 04:53:51 pm »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.
Listen carefully. I don't have much time, and I only have 462 characters left. I'm a scientist from Area 52 (Area 51 was used to draw attention from Area 52, where the aliens were ACTUALLY stored) who was working on neural interfacing with networked devices. In an experiment gone wrong, I accidentally uploaded my mind to the internet. In the 2 seconds I had before my mind scrambled itself with the world's network traffic, I was able to store this snippet in this random internet signature. If you're reading this, let the world know tha

Don Coyote

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2018, 05:45:11 pm »
Your bowels are truly the horror that keeps mirthing  :horrormirth:

Doktor Howl

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2018, 12:34:40 am »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.

I just drank water until the residual chlorine made my throat sore.

Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

PoFP

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2018, 01:23:39 am »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.

I just drank water until the residual chlorine made my throat sore.

Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

 :lulz:

 Hey man, whatever works.
Listen carefully. I don't have much time, and I only have 462 characters left. I'm a scientist from Area 52 (Area 51 was used to draw attention from Area 52, where the aliens were ACTUALLY stored) who was working on neural interfacing with networked devices. In an experiment gone wrong, I accidentally uploaded my mind to the internet. In the 2 seconds I had before my mind scrambled itself with the world's network traffic, I was able to store this snippet in this random internet signature. If you're reading this, let the world know tha

Cramulus

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2018, 08:01:06 pm »
Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

Dok's ass larps the Creation Myth

first there was nothing
then there was something
then there was way too much of it
and then, he rested



Don Coyote

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2018, 10:04:35 pm »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.

I just drank water until the residual chlorine made my throat sore.

Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

AHEM

The toilet, sewage system, and 200 senior citizens had a religious moment. You had a moment of extreme clarity.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2018, 12:19:30 am »
Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

Dok's ass larps the Creation Myth

first there was nothing
then there was something
then there was way too much of it
and then, he rested

 :lulz:
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2018, 12:19:50 am »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.

I just drank water until the residual chlorine made my throat sore.

Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

AHEM

The toilet, sewage system, and 200 senior citizens had a religious moment. You had a moment of extreme clarity.

Yeah, my thoughts were pretty focused.   :lol:
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Emo Howard

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Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2018, 09:44:38 am »
If I'm not careful with my diet, sometimes I have to reach in and pull it out.


This isn't even a metaphor. :sad:

The first time I realized this one simple trick, I hadn't shat in at least 5 days. I had been binging on laxative for the previous two, which has only caused the enemy to grow larger, yet more pliable. when I finally laid eyes on its corpulent visage, it was one continuous unit approximately two feet in length, and two inches in girth.

I did not regain control of my bowels for a few hours afterwards. Fortunately, I had already called out sick from work. Even more fortunately, my company's policy did not require that I explain the reason for my absence.