Law & Order: Animal Unit

[Cramulus]

In the future, dolphins, elephants, and several primates with advanced cognitive capabilities will be classified as "non-human persons". This legal definition entitles them to rights above and beyond what most animals have, ideally to protect them against environmental destruction and inhumane treatment.

It also opens up those entities to lawsuits. Legal teams will be appointed to represent the interests of these species. This has the result of exposing environmentally destructive groups to lawsuits from dolphins and elephants.

This legal definition of some animals as "non-human persons" also creates a slippery slope. Which specific behaviors or biological features make one entitled to rights? After a long and complicated debate, the Supreme Court ruled that bee colonies do use "symbols" in their inter-bee communication dances, which constitutes language, which entitles them to personhood and therefore legal representation. Now bees have lawyers too. Bee lawyers take action against companies that produce bee-harming pesticides and agricultural practices harmful to bees. Among other things.

While some lawyers represent elephants and parrots (and other animals) pro-bono, this also ends up being a lucrative way to practice law. In order to fund these legal escapades, accounts are set up to receive donations from the public, resulting in some animals, (mainly "cute" ones) amassing large amounts of resources. PR campaigns promise that funds donated to animals will be spent on desirable causes. "Cats" and "Dogs", consequently, become powerful and highly litigious entities.

Due to climate change and other forms of environmental upset, animal territory and migration zones have shifted. This results in tension between wildlife populations - which are also pursued in court. One notable case involves a legal dispute between dolphins and hammerhead sharks - but things don't get really weird until animal-lawyers start forming publicly traded corporations. Eventually, cats and dogs, as collective legal entities, now control a significant portion of the economy.

[Faust]

A morally ambiguous film noir about an actuary who starts investigating the case of  a washed up alcoholic lasagna fattened tabby found dead in his own filth, did his life of excess and loss of resolve in his later years lead to his death, or was there something more sinister at play as different groups vie for his estate. Could his on and off again transvestite bimbo lover Nermal be in danger, and perhaps she isn't as innocent as she seems.

[minuspace]

As the latitude or space for crafting unique personal identities declines due to population growth, people become increasingly "creative" in how they try to distinguish themselves from others. Protestant ethics of un-movable self-sacrifice and unstopable productivity collide in  next and final stage of identity politics: behold the HuMule*, hybridization of man and beast.

*TM: DARPA