Theology as an Exercise in Management.

[Doktor Howl]

I was thinking about this on the drive home today, and I have come to the conclusion that all of this mess is a crisis in management, rather than labor.

Interesting.

So, for once, the Engineering Department doesn’t get blamed for inherent design flaws?

And, as usual, Quality Control takes no responsibility whatsoever, because they can’t inspect quality into the finished product?

There doesn't seem to be any flaws in the design, at least flaws that would cause the problems being discussed.

Also, when you're omnipotent, who's on your QC team?

Okay, I’ll buy that.

However, isn’t Lucifer more of an Accounts Receivable kind of guy? I would think the collecting of souls is more of a normal Accounts Receivable function, than an Accounts Payable responsibility.

Yeah, souls don't fetch like what they once did.

Everyone always assumes that the devil is out to trick people out of their rent control in heaven.  What does that get him?  More assholes in an unpleasant place.  My guess is he doesn't like humans any more than God does.


Again:  Not human, therefore not to be trusted.

[Brother Mythos]

I was thinking about this on the drive home today, and I have come to the conclusion that all of this mess is a crisis in management, rather than labor.

Interesting.

So, for once, the Engineering Department doesn’t get blamed for inherent design flaws?

And, as usual, Quality Control takes no responsibility whatsoever, because they can’t inspect quality into the finished product?

There doesn't seem to be any flaws in the design, at least flaws that would cause the problems being discussed.

Also, when you're omnipotent, who's on your QC team?

Okay, I’ll buy that.

However, isn’t Lucifer more of an Accounts Receivable kind of guy? I would think the collecting of souls is more of a normal Accounts Receivable function, than an Accounts Payable responsibility.

Yeah, souls don't fetch like what they once did.

Everyone always assumes that the devil is out to trick people out of their rent control in heaven.  What does that get him?  More assholes in an unpleasant place.  My guess is he doesn't like humans any more than God does.


Again:  Not human, therefore not to be trusted.

Like many humans, and Republicans who glorify “family values,” Beelzebub may be more into quantity than quality.

If his/its point of view is that we’re all just killer apes anyway, then what does it matter to him/it that the souls he/it collects are those of assholes? It’s all just a numbers game between him/it and his/its God. He/it with the most souls wins.
 

And anyway, since when did humans/particularly clever monkeys/killer apes become trustworthy?

[Doktor Howl]

God is interfering with my posts.

[Doktor Howl]

Like many humans, and Republicans who glorify “family values,” Beelzebub may be more into quantity than quality.

If his/its point of view is that we’re all just killer apes anyway, then what does it matter to him/it that the souls he/it collects are those of assholes? It’s all just a numbers game between him/it and his/its God. He/it with the most souls wins.
 

And anyway, since when did humans/particularly clever monkeys/killer apes become trustworthy?

1.  That would imply that we're somehow fungible.  Like maybe we're bullets or fuel in some eternal war, or just replacement components for their tractor-pull rigs.

2.  Humans have always been trustworthy, by which I mean you can trust humans to think and act in certain ways.  Aliens and Gods, not so much.  They are an unknown variable, and my monkey nature says that that is BAD and UNPREDICTABLE and we should HIT THEM WITH ROCKS UNTIL THEY STOP.

[Brother Mythos]

Like many humans, and Republicans who glorify “family values,” Beelzebub may be more into quantity than quality.

If his/its point of view is that we’re all just killer apes anyway, then what does it matter to him/it that the souls he/it collects are those of assholes? It’s all just a numbers game between him/it and his/its God. He/it with the most souls wins.
 

And anyway, since when did humans/particularly clever monkeys/killer apes become trustworthy?

1.  That would imply that we're somehow fungible.  Like maybe we're bullets or fuel in some eternal war, or just replacement components for their tractor-pull rigs.

2.  Humans have always been trustworthy, by which I mean you can trust humans to think and act in certain ways.  Aliens and Gods, not so much.  They are an unknown variable, and my monkey nature says that that is BAD and UNPREDICTABLE and we should HIT THEM WITH ROCKS UNTIL THEY STOP.

1. True, but more like entertaining contestants on a reality TV show, I’m thinking. (Which, for example, is what the current POTUS is at heart.)

2. Given the limited resources we humans have to work with, I will allow that we are, at lease, fairly predictable.

[Vanadium Gryllz]

God is interfering with my posts.

Mods need to take the principled stand and ban God.

[Doktor Howl]

God is interfering with my posts.

Mods need to take the principled stand and ban God.

We do, but he has literally an infinite amount of proxies.

[Vanadium Gryllz]

God is interfering with my posts.

Mods need to take the principled stand and ban God.

We do, but he has literally an infinite amount of proxies.

If you ban every IP address the forum will finally be immaculate.

[Brother Mythos]

We got one problem here, bub.

¹ It is worth mentioning that EVERY religion has a Prometheus figure.

What's the Discordian Prometheus figure? Closest I can think is Greyface and he's basically the opposite of one.

Eris is, of course.  Nothing says she can't do both.

And, as an added bonus, you can still have the original Greek Titan Prometheus! (I don’t know where he is right now, but I heard somewhere that Hercules unchained him from that big ol’ rock.)

Anyway, with Discordianism you get a twofer!

I don’t believe any other religion can make that claim. So, is this a Great Religion, or what?!

[minuspace]

We got one problem here, bub.

¹ It is worth mentioning that EVERY religion has a Prometheus figure.

What's the Discordian Prometheus figure? Closest I can think is Greyface and he's basically the opposite of one.

Eris is, of course.  Nothing says she can't do both.

And, as an added bonus, you can still have the original Greek Titan Prometheus! (I don’t know where he is right now, but I heard somewhere that Hercules unchained him from that big ol’ rock.)

Anyway, with Discordianism you get a twofer!

I don’t believe any other religion can make that claim. So, is this a Great Religion, or what?!

This is wonderful... An unbinding religion that collapses duality and multiplies gods.