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Only Human

Started by Doktor Howl, July 19, 2018, 04:43:32 PM

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Doktor Howl

I hear this all the time:  "I'm only human, I'm going to make mistakes."  And, you know, I'd be on board with that except that humans keep making the same mistake over and over again, until one day there's a "heat dome" over half the country, your water is poisonous, and treason pours out of your TV set and stains the carpet. 

Let me put this another way...If you had a guy working for you that day after day made the exact same mistake and ruined product or drove away customers, and no matter how many times you retrained him, he kept doing it, what would you do?  Yeah, that's right.  You'd let him go.  You'd take him aside and quietly explain that this isn't his line of work and he should try something else, somewhere else.  All I am proposing is that we fire the humans.  Tell them to pack up their shit and get out.  I mean, what do we have to lose?  The same silly bastards proposing tax cuts every shift?  Some dumb fucking orange colostomy bag starting trade wars for reasons that even he cannot properly explain? 

Look, I know that humans are cute and can sometimes be funny.  You can almost make yourself believe that they're people, given enough exposure, so it's like deciding to take Old Yeller in for the blue needle.  You might even cry a bit, and that's okay.  But you have to remember that Old Yeller has rabies and keeping him around isn't doing him or anyone else any favors.  Same with humans.  Keeping them around out of sentimentality is really a form of selfish cruelty.  You didn't even neuter them, for God's sake.  There's like 7.6 billion of them. 

It's going to be a busy afternoon, the day you finally decide to clean up this mess, and waiting isn't going to make it go any faster.
Molon Lube

chaotic neutral observer

It's not enough.  Limiting yourself to the humans, I mean.  I've thought about the problem, and the only solution is to destroy all life, everywhere.  As long as there's life, something like humans will emerge, or evolve, or spawn, and it'll just be the same thing, all over again.

It's not like humans as a species have a monopoly on evil; both an anthill and a city cause the same kinds of problems, there's just a slight difference in scale.

But as much as I'd love to sign up, shredding universes is a major chore, and I started tomatoes from seed this spring.  I'd like to see how they turn out.

Maybe after the snow falls.

Or next year.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Brother Mythos

Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, it's a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but I've yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Dizzii Dolli



Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 21, 2018, 04:12:43 AM
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, it's a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but I've yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I've seen too many "self-correcting problem s" correct themselves in exactly the wrong direction to believe this is possible anymore. Burning it down seems like the only reasonable conclusion.

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk


Doktor Howl

Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 21, 2018, 04:12:43 AM
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, it's a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but I've yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I will moonwalk on the smoking ruins like Scipio.
Molon Lube

minuspace

That's what I say. Eventually, they all move so fucking predictable. Granted, the computer told me so.

Brother Mythos

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 21, 2018, 06:49:18 AM
Quote from: Brother Mythos on July 21, 2018, 04:12:43 AM
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, it's a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but I've yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I will moonwalk on the smoking ruins like Scipio.

Party on Doktor Howl!
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Doktor Howl

A human is ultimately responsible for this fucking coffee.  It is something a human would do, out of either malice or sheer incompetence.  This tastes like Henry Kissinger getting the Nobel Peace Prize.  It is a mug of shame and failure.  It is the collapse of Western civilization in one horrible cup.  I hate you all.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Things I learned from this cup of shit.

EVERY government is a criminal conspiracy to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of a few, and to suppress dissent among the rest.

Big thieves hang little thieves.

Rich people get richer by getting poor people to kill each other in the name of a phony ideal.

Kill a hundred people and you spend your life in jail. Kill a million people and you ride to the opera in a limousine.
Molon Lube

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 24, 2018, 07:33:20 PM
Things I learned from this cup of shit.

EVERY government is a criminal conspiracy to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of a few, and to suppress dissent among the rest.

Big thieves hang little thieves.

Rich people get richer by getting poor people to kill each other in the name of a phony ideal.

Kill a hundred people and you spend your life in jail. Kill a million people and you ride to the opera in a limousine.

I think someone made you Klatchian coffee and you are now knurd, the opposite of drunk. It's a state where you see reality all TOO clearly and without any comfortable delusion according to the late, great Terry Pratchett.

As for the OP I couldn't help thinking of it in context of the "you" being spoken to being God. As though He had pet humans and didn't take proper care of them and they accidentally all over this reality. 
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl