Author Topic: Only Human  (Read 505 times)

Doktor Howl

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Only Human
« on: July 19, 2018, 04:43:32 pm »
I hear this all the time:  "I'm only human, I'm going to make mistakes."  And, you know, I'd be on board with that except that humans keep making the same mistake over and over again, until one day there's a "heat dome" over half the country, your water is poisonous, and treason pours out of your TV set and stains the carpet. 

Let me put this another way...If you had a guy working for you that day after day made the exact same mistake and ruined product or drove away customers, and no matter how many times you retrained him, he kept doing it, what would you do?  Yeah, that's right.  You'd let him go.  You'd take him aside and quietly explain that this isn't his line of work and he should try something else, somewhere else.  All I am proposing is that we fire the humans.  Tell them to pack up their shit and get out.  I mean, what do we have to lose?  The same silly bastards proposing tax cuts every shift?  Some dumb fucking orange colostomy bag starting trade wars for reasons that even he cannot properly explain? 

Look, I know that humans are cute and can sometimes be funny.  You can almost make yourself believe that they're people, given enough exposure, so it's like deciding to take Old Yeller in for the blue needle.  You might even cry a bit, and that's okay.  But you have to remember that Old Yeller has rabies and keeping him around isn't doing him or anyone else any favors.  Same with humans.  Keeping them around out of sentimentality is really a form of selfish cruelty.  You didn't even neuter them, for God's sake.  There's like 7.6 billion of them. 

It's going to be a busy afternoon, the day you finally decide to clean up this mess, and waiting isn't going to make it go any faster.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2018, 03:13:52 am »
It's not enough.  Limiting yourself to the humans, I mean.  I've thought about the problem, and the only solution is to destroy all life, everywhere.  As long as there's life, something like humans will emerge, or evolve, or spawn, and it'll just be the same thing, all over again.

It's not like humans as a species have a monopoly on evil; both an anthill and a city cause the same kinds of problems, there's just a slight difference in scale.

But as much as I'd love to sign up, shredding universes is a major chore, and I started tomatoes from seed this spring.  I'd like to see how they turn out.

Maybe after the snow falls.

Or next year.
It took less than a week for this thread to go from ďU.S. resistance politicsĒ to ďinternational spray cheese.Ē  --Brother Mythos

Brother Mythos

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2018, 04:12:43 am »
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, itís a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but Iíve yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

Dizzii Dolli

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2018, 04:46:11 am »


Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, itís a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but Iíve yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I've seen too many "self-correcting problem s" correct themselves in exactly the wrong direction to believe this is possible anymore. Burning it down seems like the only reasonable conclusion.

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Doktor Howl

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2018, 06:49:18 am »
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, itís a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but Iíve yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I will moonwalk on the smoking ruins like Scipio.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

LuciferX

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2018, 08:45:26 am »
That's what I say. Eventually, they all move so fucking predictable. Granted, the computer told me so.
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Brother Mythos

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2018, 05:03:20 pm »
Humans are an invasive species. But, I suspect that, in the grand scheme of things, itís a self-correcting problem. I sincerely hope my suspicions are incorrect, but Iíve yet to see any hard evidence to the contrary.

So, if the end of the world is coming for humanity, Doktor Howl, you try to have fun too.

I will moonwalk on the smoking ruins like Scipio.

Party on Doktor Howl!

Doktor Howl

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2018, 07:31:20 pm »
A human is ultimately responsible for this fucking coffee.  It is something a human would do, out of either malice or sheer incompetence.  This tastes like Henry Kissinger getting the Nobel Peace Prize.  It is a mug of shame and failure.  It is the collapse of Western civilization in one horrible cup.  I hate you all.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

Doktor Howl

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2018, 07:33:20 pm »
Things I learned from this cup of shit.

EVERY government is a criminal conspiracy to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of a few, and to suppress dissent among the rest.

Big thieves hang little thieves.

Rich people get richer by getting poor people to kill each other in the name of a phony ideal.

Kill a hundred people and you spend your life in jail. Kill a million people and you ride to the opera in a limousine.
Well, that's hardly my fault.  I was just doing what I do, doing my little dance, singing my little song, you know?  And then Hirley0 got on the dance floor and said

SHAKE THAT
First ^  Then V

And I did.  I didn't feel like I had any choice.  Between P-Funk and Hirley0, I became the man reptillian menace I am today.

Bootsy Collins did this to me.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Only Human
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2018, 06:18:09 pm »
Things I learned from this cup of shit.

EVERY government is a criminal conspiracy to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of a few, and to suppress dissent among the rest.

Big thieves hang little thieves.

Rich people get richer by getting poor people to kill each other in the name of a phony ideal.

Kill a hundred people and you spend your life in jail. Kill a million people and you ride to the opera in a limousine.

I think someone made you Klatchian coffee and you are now knurd, the opposite of drunk. It's a state where you see reality all TOO clearly and without any comfortable delusion according to the late, great Terry Pratchett.

As for the OP I couldn't help thinking of it in context of the "you" being spoken to being God. As though He had pet humans and didn't take proper care of them and they accidentally all over this reality. 
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Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

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