That's Me.

[Doktor Howl]

Today I drove home doing 53 MPH in the left lane with my right blinker on for 5 miles.  I stopped at the grocery store on the way, where I parked 6" away from the car on my right.  Inside, I used the restroom, hopelessly jamming up the toilet.  Then I left my cart in the middle of the aisle while I stood next to it for 5 minutes, debating my choice of taco seasoning.   Then I took 3-4 minutes recounting my change in the express checkout.  Leaving, I left my cart in the parking spot on my left side.

I am THAT FUCKING GUY.  And while I enjoy what I do, it is exhausting and I feel as if I should be compensated.