The Age of Eris

[hooplala]

2 guys in a bowling alley tried to reclassify a god 60 years ago. They wanted to invent their own religion, using a relatively obscure member of the greek pantheon, a religion which preached thinking for yourself, and breaking the bonds of normalcy, of noticing your own almost invisible thought processes - all admirable ideas. The problem is, they picked Eris to be this god. They decided Eris was a fun-loving hippie witch interested in the betterment of humanity. They could have picked any obscure member, but they chose Eris.

Eris will not be redefined.

This is Her time, this is Her age. She is behind the red pill and her visage is green and laughing. She whispered to the Russians to play both sides. She runs Tumblr. Twitter. Facebook. She does fund Uncle BadTouch’s activities. Her favorite avatar is a slumlord reality tv star everyone hated BEFORE he was on tv, now he ostensibly runs the world, tweeting from his golden toilet as he munches on symbols of American Imperialism.

She won, folks.

The beatniks woke her, and now she runs the world. This is Eris’s world, we just live in it.

Hail Eris?

[Cramulus]

They said the Greeks were just victims of indigestion, and that's why they described her as a scowling crone with a hidden dagger.

These days, I've got indigestion too.


But that's why She doesn't ask for our worship.

In my 20s I was excited for All That Is to finally end.
Now in my 30s, I'm part of All That Is, and its demise disturbs me.

[hooplala]

Even the 2-3 years following 9/11 were like this. These are bonkers times.

[minuspace]

It's so tricky, this invocation of Eris. I don't think they understand the level of penetration permitted to her by any and all expressions of interest. It's Her party now, and she will fuck the brains right out of you.

Of course it will then all pass, with whatever exploits seemingly relegated to determinate 'historical' intervals. Sure. Because you really would think it's just theater, simple, determinate... finite.

[Cramulus]

60 years ago, she was "waking up"

I want to remind you that the planet Eris' period of orbit is 558 years - so if she was waking up in the 60s, she was last awake in the 15th century (notable events: invention of the printing press, fall of Constantinople), and before that, roughly the year 844 (notable events: rule of Charlemange, volcanos speaking to worshippers globally, China reunited).

[Norman]

A series of unfortunate events

[minuspace]

So yeah, we need to... Talk?

[Con-troll]

60 years ago, she was "waking up"

I want to remind you that the planet Eris' period of orbit is 558 years - so if she was waking up in the 60s, she was last awake in the 15th century (notable events: invention of the printing press, fall of Constantinople), and before that, roughly the year 844 (notable events: rule of Charlemange, volcanos speaking to worshippers globally, China reunited).

So astronomy isn't just for figuring out what chicks reading cosmo think will happen?

[hooplala]

60 years ago, she was "waking up"

I want to remind you that the planet Eris' period of orbit is 558 years - so if she was waking up in the 60s, she was last awake in the 15th century (notable events: invention of the printing press, fall of Constantinople), and before that, roughly the year 844 (notable events: rule of Charlemange, volcanos speaking to worshippers globally, China reunited).

So astronomy isn't just for figuring out what chicks reading cosmo think will happen?

Astrology?

[Doktor Howl]

60 years ago, she was "waking up"

I want to remind you that the planet Eris' period of orbit is 558 years - so if she was waking up in the 60s, she was last awake in the 15th century (notable events: invention of the printing press, fall of Constantinople), and before that, roughly the year 844 (notable events: rule of Charlemange, volcanos speaking to worshippers globally, China reunited).

So astronomy isn't just for figuring out what chicks reading cosmo think will happen?

Not unless chicks reading cosmos are wondering about brown galaxies. 

[Doktor Howl]

For me it's not personal, I want you to all know that.  I've just been taking a decade and a half or so to get my head together.  I made a mistake in 2002 and then went spastic in 2005 and then got sick in 2009 and it's been a very long road since then, only now with damaged meat and maybe just a tiny bit of stress.  Jesus might be your copilot but I am letting Eris fly this fucking thing unsupervised.

Until this morning it was ALL personal, mind you.  Until this morning I was upset about the Great Seriousness™.  I was, in fact, angry as hell.  Then when this morning happened, I thought "Why would I get mad at the sun for rising?"  After this morning, I am clean, I have dropped my baggage into the ditch and left it for feral dogs.  It is worth mentioning that this isn't some "come to Jesus" thing.  No.  I still harbor ill-will for plenty of folks, I'm just not MAD about it anymore, and I don't have a personal interest in whatever the fuck happens to anyone who in my judgement has fucked me over.  Now it's like when you read about that veteran's day parade that got run over by a train in Texas back in 2006 or so.  Amusement, but that's about it.  So I'm not a better person, I'm just not angry anymore.

I mentioned this to my wife this morning and I said, "Maybe one day I'll even forgive people."  She just laughed and slapped me on my ass and said "Yeah, that's gonna happen."

It's good to be me.

[hooplala]

I’m almost nervous to ask what happened this morning...

[Doktor Howl]

I’m almost nervous to ask what happened this morning...

As well you should.   But the truth is that nothing happened, other than I woke up "not angry" for the first time in as long as I can remember.  And when I paged through my Big Book of Grudges, I still wasn't angry.  I mean, I still hate the people in the book...But, again, it's more of a spectator hate now.

There is absolutely no point in being mad at people for lacking the agency to not be shitbags.  You gonna stay mad at Hugh forever?  Why?  Yeah, he was a shitbag, but he reaped the rich rewards thereof, and is no longer a concern.  I will chuckle if even worse things happen to him, but I ain't going out of my way.  Same with Charley, Kai, Nigel, yada yada.  Every two-bit asshole who has felt the need to tell me WHAT.  I no longer feel any sort of connection.  It's just that simple.

(Though I do gotta admit that I still laugh when I think of Charley's inverse butthole.)

[hooplala]

Yeah I hope to get there soon. Maybe this appointment this afternoon will change my life. Maybe not.

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah I hope to get there soon. Maybe this appointment this afternoon will change my life. Maybe not.

If not, then grab your shit and significant others and head down here.  We'll fix you proper.