Predatory instinct

[chaotic neutral observer]

Sometimes, I'll see someone walking with their head down, focused on their smartphone, oblivious to their surroundings, and I'll feel the urge to pounce on them.

It's not as if I wish them harm, or want to beat them up and take their stuff.  I'm not even particularly irritated at their inattention; there's no rational thought process here.

Perhaps this is an attribute of my inner six-year-old, who still thinks it's funny to sneak up on people and make Sudden Noises.  Maybe, dozens of generations ago, one of my ancestors survived by hunting via stealth, and some of his genes persisted through decades of domestication.  Or it could be that this is my way of saying, "Hi.  Safety is an illusion.  You're a wild creature out in the wild, and you've dropped your defenses.  I might be a flabby little geek with low threat potential, but the next thing you meet could be a stray coyote¹, or a wandering cultist².  You should take better care of yourself."

I've never done anything about this, of course, but perhaps someday I'll work up the nerve to stand in their path, adopt a Ginyu Force pose, and see what happens.

Unrelated note:  A couple days ago, I had just left work, was looking down at my phone to make a call, and got whapped in the face by a low hanging tree branch.  The grounds staff should probably trim that.

If I'm a hypocrite, then recognizing I'm a hypocrite doesn't make me less of a hypocrite.  It makes me a double hypocrite.  But knowing I'm a double hypocrite doesn't make me a triple hypocrite.  It has to end somewhere.

----------

¹Coyotes wander into the city, now and then.  They're after the jackrabbits, I suppose.
²Jehova's Witness.  They're not as bad as they used to be.

[Capeditiea]

that sounds like fun thing to start.

next thing we know it would go viral on youtube, suddenly the world would be pleased in many levels.

*nods,

did you start to bleed like mad?

[Cain]

Doing that around here is an invitation to getting your phone snatched and probably a stabbing as well.  And yet people still do it.

[Capeditiea]

:O you live in a dangerous place, yo.

[chaotic neutral observer]

did you start to bleed like mad?

I caught a faceful of leaves.  Negligible physical damage, moderate ego damage.

Doing that around here is an invitation to getting your phone snatched and probably a stabbing as well.  And yet people still do it.

I wonder how many learn from the experience, and how many get mugged a second time.

[Capeditiea]

did you start to bleed like mad?

I caught a faceful of leaves.  Negligible physical damage, moderate ego damage.

Doing that around here is an invitation to getting your phone snatched and probably a stabbing as well.  And yet people still do it.

I wonder how many learn from the experience, and how many get mugged a second time.

is the tree okay?

[Cain]

:O you live in a dangerous place, yo.

Only late at night.  Being on the night shift, I see this sort of thing a lot more than most.  Up until about midnight, and after 5am you're OK.

I wonder how many learn from the experience, and how many get mugged a second time.

They remember...for a few months.  Then they get it snatched again.  You can see the little buggers setting up for it on the street...some dude with a bike, at 3am, who finds the pavement incredibly fascinating, right up until the point someone passes with a phone in hand.  They let them get on about 10m, and then they zip past, grabbing the phone as they go.  If the police had the manpower for more than a single patrol every 8 hours, they'd probably catch them in the act more often.

[Capeditiea]

somehow i am seeing the dude on the bike fapping to the pavement's fine smooth bumpy textures.

[chaotic neutral observer]

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

[minuspace]

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

Get back on the bus and clothe thyself.

[Capeditiea]

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

Get back on the bus and clothe thyself.

:O you killed the tree? poor tree. T.T

well, LuciferX did suggest some good advice.

just besure to wear red... and brown depending on the last time you deficated. this tree's friends may be after you. You should probably wear a bunch of weight incase they decide to throw you into a wall.

[minuspace]

 

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

Get back on the bus and clothe thyself.

:O you killed the tree? poor tree. T.T

well, LuciferX did suggest some good advice.

just besure to wear red... and brown depending on the last time you deficated. this tree's friends may be after you. You should probably wear a bunch of weight incase they decide to throw you into a wall.

it's like I still have little bits of placental matter behind my ears from the last hit. That must be how they find me. Bbecause otherwise I duct-tape everything to my body.

[axod]

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

Get back on the bus and clothe thyself.

:O you killed the tree? poor tree. T.T

well, LuciferX did suggest some good advice.

just besure to wear red... and brown depending on the last time you deficated. this tree's friends may be after you. You should probably wear a bunch of weight incase they decide to throw you into a wall.

it's like I still have little bits of placental matter behind my ears from the last hit. That must be how they find me. Bbecause otherwise I duct-tape everything to my body.

psst... the wall, it's full of holes.

[Doktor Howl]

Sometimes, I'll see someone walking with their head down, focused on their smartphone, oblivious to their surroundings, and I'll feel the urge to pounce on them.

It's not as if I wish them harm, or want to beat them up and take their stuff.  I'm not even particularly irritated at their inattention; there's no rational thought process here.

Perhaps this is an attribute of my inner six-year-old, who still thinks it's funny to sneak up on people and make Sudden Noises.  Maybe, dozens of generations ago, one of my ancestors survived by hunting via stealth, and some of his genes persisted through decades of domestication.  Or it could be that this is my way of saying, "Hi.  Safety is an illusion.  You're a wild creature out in the wild, and you've dropped your defenses.  I might be a flabby little geek with low threat potential, but the next thing you meet could be a stray coyote¹, or a wandering cultist².  You should take better care of yourself."

I've never done anything about this, of course, but perhaps someday I'll work up the nerve to stand in their path, adopt a Ginyu Force pose, and see what happens.

Unrelated note:  A couple days ago, I had just left work, was looking down at my phone to make a call, and got whapped in the face by a low hanging tree branch.  The grounds staff should probably trim that.

If I'm a hypocrite, then recognizing I'm a hypocrite doesn't make me less of a hypocrite.  It makes me a double hypocrite.  But knowing I'm a double hypocrite doesn't make me a triple hypocrite.  It has to end somewhere.

----------

¹Coyotes wander into the city, now and then.  They're after the jackrabbits, I suppose.
²Jehova's Witness.  They're not as bad as they used to be.

You can never relax.  You should never relax.  You should live your life in a haze of anxiety.

[Capeditiea]

is the tree okay?

The leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off.

Get back on the bus and clothe thyself.

:O you killed the tree? poor tree. T.T

well, LuciferX did suggest some good advice.

just besure to wear red... and brown depending on the last time you deficated. this tree's friends may be after you. You should probably wear a bunch of weight incase they decide to throw you into a wall.

it's like I still have little bits of placental matter behind my ears from the last hit. That must be how they find me. Bbecause otherwise I duct-tape everything to my body.

:O you may need more duck tape and ducks. because they obviously love using duck tape.