I HAVE MANY ALIBIS
So do I, but I am guilty as fuck despite the fact that I wasn't even in the neighborhood when <insert calamity> occurred. It does not matter that I did not do it; I am guilty regardless. It's like hyper-Catholicism...I don't necessarily
feel guilty, but I am . Fortunately, under this shallow exterior lies an enormous lack of character, so I don't let my obvious culpability bother me.