Author Topic: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse  (Read 413 times)

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5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« on: September 12, 2018, 12:54:54 am »
Humans are all preppers. Animals better wake up before sun goes boom.
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Hoopla!

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2018, 01:06:56 am »
Humans love to have something to look forward to, even if it's the end of the world.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2018, 04:32:56 am by Hoopla! »
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2018, 01:20:08 am »
In fact it's one of the most logical things to wish for, you are physically unable to regret it after it's done.
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2018, 01:36:43 am »
is there such a thing as pregret?  is that like dread??
"he was a smart feller who felt smart"

Hoopla!

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2018, 01:38:35 am »
In fact it's one of the most logical things to wish for, you are physically unable to regret it after it's done.

Can't argue with that.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

Doktor Howl

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2018, 03:35:59 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2018, 03:52:31 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2018, 03:54:41 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2018, 04:01:08 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2018, 04:08:19 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?

You mean dollars?

You don't need an apocalypse to live in hell, dumbass.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2018, 04:10:55 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?

You mean dollars?

You don't need an apocalypse to live in hell, dumbass.

And that's why oh so many of us don't give a flying bulldozer.
sqos dnd ou os 'snq ooz uo punos ou

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2018, 02:12:49 pm »
I apologize, my lifeforce is being drained out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

In a bizarre incident late yesterday, a young man attacked a local Doktor using a bucket of his own blood.  "That fucker could have destroyed my good shirt", said the Doktor, when asked for comment.  "Blood stains are a bitch to get out.  It's a good thing I was wearing my lab coat."  The alleged assailant later died from blood loss.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2018, 07:27:14 pm »
I apologize, my lifeforce is being drained out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

In a bizarre incident late yesterday, a young man attacked a local Doktor using a bucket of his own blood.  "That fucker could have destroyed my good shirt", said the Doktor, when asked for comment.  "Blood stains are a bitch to get out.  It's a good thing I was wearing my lab coat."  The alleged assailant later died from blood loss Queen Gogira-related causes.


Corrected for historical accuracy.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2018, 06:27:21 pm »
I HAVE MANY ALIBIS
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2018, 06:46:56 pm »
I HAVE MANY ALIBIS

So do I, but I am guilty as fuck despite the fact that I wasn't even in the neighborhood when <insert calamity> occurred.  It does not matter that I did not do it; I am guilty regardless.  It's like hyper-Catholicism...I don't necessarily feel guilty, but I am .  Fortunately, under this shallow exterior lies an enormous lack of character, so I don't let my obvious culpability bother me.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.