Author Topic: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse  (Read 1526 times)

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5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« on: September 12, 2018, 12:54:54 am »
Humans are all preppers. Animals better wake up before sun goes boom.
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Hoopla!

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2018, 01:06:56 am »
Humans love to have something to look forward to, even if it's the end of the world.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2018, 04:32:56 am by Hoopla! »
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2018, 01:20:08 am »
In fact it's one of the most logical things to wish for, you are physically unable to regret it after it's done.
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2018, 01:36:43 am »
is there such a thing as pregret?  is that like dread??
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2018, 01:38:35 am »
In fact it's one of the most logical things to wish for, you are physically unable to regret it after it's done.

Can't argue with that.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

Doktor Howl

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2018, 03:35:59 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.
Quote
"Here is the story," Trump began. "I don't want to have them make a big chart. Costs too much and I am a business guy. I asked how much it costs to make a big chart. Like it matters but it matters to me, does that make sense? Two maps identical. Except the one on top was Syria. See that? The one on top was Syria in November of 2016," Trump said. "This is all ISIS. On the bottom, today, the caliphate is gone as of tonight. Pretty good. That is pretty good, right?"

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2018, 03:52:31 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2018, 03:54:41 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.
Quote
"Here is the story," Trump began. "I don't want to have them make a big chart. Costs too much and I am a business guy. I asked how much it costs to make a big chart. Like it matters but it matters to me, does that make sense? Two maps identical. Except the one on top was Syria. See that? The one on top was Syria in November of 2016," Trump said. "This is all ISIS. On the bottom, today, the caliphate is gone as of tonight. Pretty good. That is pretty good, right?"

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2018, 04:01:08 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2018, 04:08:19 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?

You mean dollars?

You don't need an apocalypse to live in hell, dumbass.
Quote
"Here is the story," Trump began. "I don't want to have them make a big chart. Costs too much and I am a business guy. I asked how much it costs to make a big chart. Like it matters but it matters to me, does that make sense? Two maps identical. Except the one on top was Syria. See that? The one on top was Syria in November of 2016," Trump said. "This is all ISIS. On the bottom, today, the caliphate is gone as of tonight. Pretty good. That is pretty good, right?"

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2018, 04:10:55 am »
0/9, for lack of effort.

Back in my day, people WORKED for their trolls.

I apologize, my lifeforce is being sucked out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

Well, at least you'll die first.

That's worth something.

How much that something is in food coupons?

You mean dollars?

You don't need an apocalypse to live in hell, dumbass.

And that's why oh so many of us don't give a flying bulldozer.
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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2018, 02:12:49 pm »
I apologize, my lifeforce is being drained out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

In a bizarre incident late yesterday, a young man attacked a local Doktor using a bucket of his own blood.  "That fucker could have destroyed my good shirt", said the Doktor, when asked for comment.  "Blood stains are a bitch to get out.  It's a good thing I was wearing my lab coat."  The alleged assailant later died from blood loss.
You will cooperate with the state, for the good of the state and your own survival. You will confess to the crimes of which you have been accused. You will be released and returned to society a productive citizen if you cooperate. Resistance will be punished. Cooperation will be rewarded.   --"Intersections in Real Time"

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2018, 07:27:14 pm »
I apologize, my lifeforce is being drained out of me to feed the destruction of everything you hold in any significance.

In a bizarre incident late yesterday, a young man attacked a local Doktor using a bucket of his own blood.  "That fucker could have destroyed my good shirt", said the Doktor, when asked for comment.  "Blood stains are a bitch to get out.  It's a good thing I was wearing my lab coat."  The alleged assailant later died from blood loss Queen Gogira-related causes.


Corrected for historical accuracy.
Quote
"Here is the story," Trump began. "I don't want to have them make a big chart. Costs too much and I am a business guy. I asked how much it costs to make a big chart. Like it matters but it matters to me, does that make sense? Two maps identical. Except the one on top was Syria. See that? The one on top was Syria in November of 2016," Trump said. "This is all ISIS. On the bottom, today, the caliphate is gone as of tonight. Pretty good. That is pretty good, right?"

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2018, 06:27:21 pm »
I HAVE MANY ALIBIS
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

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Re: 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2018, 06:46:56 pm »
I HAVE MANY ALIBIS

So do I, but I am guilty as fuck despite the fact that I wasn't even in the neighborhood when <insert calamity> occurred.  It does not matter that I did not do it; I am guilty regardless.  It's like hyper-Catholicism...I don't necessarily feel guilty, but I am .  Fortunately, under this shallow exterior lies an enormous lack of character, so I don't let my obvious culpability bother me.
Quote
"Here is the story," Trump began. "I don't want to have them make a big chart. Costs too much and I am a business guy. I asked how much it costs to make a big chart. Like it matters but it matters to me, does that make sense? Two maps identical. Except the one on top was Syria. See that? The one on top was Syria in November of 2016," Trump said. "This is all ISIS. On the bottom, today, the caliphate is gone as of tonight. Pretty good. That is pretty good, right?"