Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

[Fujikoma]

So I'm still talking to this young woman, she wants me to come spend a week or so with her as sort of a trial run to see if we're as compatible as we both seem to think. Her major complaint about my mannerisms is she doesn't like me criticizing myself, she thinks it's really negative and disagrees with my conclusions. I guess she has a point but I'm a little ambivalent about it because  one thing I always have to make sure of is, ok, what is the overall moral value of what I'm doing. It may not seem like that with some of the strange things I say and do, but there's typically a method to my madness. The other part of me is just like, "Shut up and do what she wants, doofus."

I tried telling my family and a few friends I met the most awesome woman in the world, at first they're happy about that, but then when they ask more well, she's an immigrant from Jamaica, oh, yeah, she's erm, really dark skinned, and once they've realized she's black they get really upset with me and I don't understand why. Maybe I'm missing something here but it seems to be racist as hell to me. Yes, she has her citizenship already, so it's not about that. These are people I didn't think were racist, I've known them for many years, but they just seem to have a really bad reaction for some reason. Like seriously, when they ask "Wait, is she black?" that's when it all changes.

I've already decided if we have kids we're not going to be introducing them to my mom. There's no telling what kind of emotional trauma it may inflict on them if their grandma acts racist toward them... I don't know, maybe she'll get used to the idea and grow the fuck up about it, but I have my doubts.

EDIT: So yeah, all this is kinda alien to her because people largely are not racist in Jamaica. When she came to the states she mostly hung out with white people and everyone she meets thinks she's really cool. I mean, she likes going to certain niche competitions because little kids walk up to her and ask for her autograph. She's kind of a big deal in certain circles, and it's not hard to see why, she's really nice, funny, and just likes to have fun.

[hooplala]

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/officer-investigated-after-assaulting-emt-at-hospital-over-a-hot-dog-officials-say/991238379

This is why you should avoid hot dogs on fridays.

Hot dogs are serious business. That is precisely why I refuse to ever get caught up in the Hot Dog/Sandwich thing.

[Al Qədic]

Small life update: Got blood drawn today. Ironic how they take less vials from me now that I'm seeing (read: in like a week or two) an endo for Trans reasons, as opposed to seeing one for Prematurity And Its Childhood Complications reasons. That may be coincidental though. But either way, one step closer to Doing some Things with myself, literally.


Also, fasting is a bitch, and I have a newfound appreciation for my Muslim peers who are willing and able to enjoy life while maintaining a fast for more than a day (er, evening and early morning). Ended up having a big breakfast this morning as a result of said fasting and blood drawing; my usual protein shake, my first egg cream, and 1 1/2 of the best blintzes I've ever had.


Today has been neat.

[altered]

I got so sick I called out of work and spent the entire day wobbling between bed and bathroom with a small half-mile detour to get some ginger ale because I have no respect for my ailing carcass. Feeling better now, but also like I'm packed to the gills with dead stuff, like all my innards have died and the rest of me just hasn't caught up. Bright side is a restoration of brain function.

[Al Qədic]

I got so sick I called out of work and spent the entire day wobbling between bed and bathroom with a small half-mile detour to get some ginger ale because I have no respect for my ailing carcass.

Well, at least ginger ale is good for any nausea that might come up, so I've experienced. Glad to hear things are sort of getting better though.

[Cain]

Small life update: Got blood drawn today. Ironic how they take less vials from me now that I'm seeing (read: in like a week or two) an endo for Trans reasons, as opposed to seeing one for Prematurity And Its Childhood Complications reasons. That may be coincidental though. But either way, one step closer to Doing some Things with myself, literally.


Also, fasting is a bitch, and I have a newfound appreciation for my Muslim peers who are willing and able to enjoy life while maintaining a fast for more than a day (er, evening and early morning). Ended up having a big breakfast this morning as a result of said fasting and blood drawing; my usual protein shake, my first egg cream, and 1 1/2 of the best blintzes I've ever had.


Today has been neat.

Ramadan in the summer is a special kind of hell. Our Muslim students had to study and put up with insane heatwaves in addition to not eating or drinking during the 18 or so daylight hours.

By 10pm, we'd normally have a line of pizza guys outside the accommodation doing deliveries.

[Don Coyote]

2 things
1) I have been having a GRAND FUCKING time digging through my posts from 2011 because it was suggested I try to find and connect specific inicdents with dates with certain other things I was dealing with the Army during that time frame because I'm working on increasing my VA disability percentage. 2011 me was such a lolrandom child.
2) On a discord someone has declared that act of pooping is a sandwich.
3) I bought a scythe to mow this fuck huge lawn we now have and 3 weeks into owning it I sliced up my finger sharpening.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Things overheard at work recently:

"What fresh hell is this?"

"I lost Wednesday.  Then I woke up thinking it was Thursday, and my wife told me it was Friday."

"Electronics has not made the world a better place."

[altered]

At work, we had a meeting about a complete overhaul of our phone system. We all need to be totally retrained and will probably horrify customers for a solid month of nightmarish moments as we adjust to autoanswer.

The biggest news was WE CHANGED THE HOLD MUSIC.

Every single person started spontaneously yelling in triumph.

[Doktor Howl]

Her major complaint about my mannerisms is she doesn't like me criticizing myself, she thinks it's really negative and disagrees with my conclusions.

Yeah, nobody's got time for that shit.

[Cramulus]

Her major complaint about my mannerisms is she doesn't like me criticizing myself, she thinks it's really negative and disagrees with my conclusions.

where does this come from? why do you do it?

because you become conscious of something about yourself

your emotional-mind feels bad

the word-mind tries to resolve that feeling, using words

               it can't

that whole line of processing is basically a dead end, your word-mind can usually only describe and explain.

but by talking through it, you're involving others in this sad process, like following a map but with no destination marked. Just turning down random roads and hoping it'll eventually feel like you arrived.


don't get me wrong - reflection is good, self criticism is good

but we suck at it

when the word-mind encounters a problem, it pulls up a heuristic and gets to work
but we don't have enough perspective on ourselves to have reliable heuristics

and so a lot of us have this verbal tic where we just spew whatever's on our mind, and we think that's "processing"

[altered]

Today marks an important milestone.

I have a blanket.

I bought this blanket. It was not given to me, loaned to me, taken from a charity. I went to Target and looked at blankets and chose one blanket in particular and purchased that blanket with my money that I earned and is mine. The blanket belongs to me, and no one else may lay any claim to it. No one else is responsible for it.

It is comfortable. There are more comfortable blankets. Some of them were even cheaper than this blanket and I could have chosen them. But this is the one I wanted. Now it is mine. I did not have to beg. I did not even have to ask. I said "I will take this one," and was told to pay and sent on my way.

This all probably sounds ridiculous. Please understand that I have NEVER HAD MY OWN BLANKET BEFORE. I have had hand-me-downs and gifts and loaners and never, ever, a blanket I owned that was mine that I bought that no one could take away ever under any circumstances.

It's a big day.

[Doktor Howl]

Today marks an important milestone.

I have a blanket.

I bought this blanket. It was not given to me, loaned to me, taken from a charity. I went to Target and looked at blankets and chose one blanket in particular and purchased that blanket with my money that I earned and is mine. The blanket belongs to me, and no one else may lay any claim to it. No one else is responsible for it.

It is comfortable. There are more comfortable blankets. Some of them were even cheaper than this blanket and I could have chosen them. But this is the one I wanted. Now it is mine. I did not have to beg. I did not even have to ask. I said "I will take this one," and was told to pay and sent on my way.

This all probably sounds ridiculous. Please understand that I have NEVER HAD MY OWN BLANKET BEFORE. I have had hand-me-downs and gifts and loaners and never, ever, a blanket I owned that was mine that I bought that no one could take away ever under any circumstances.

It's a big day.

It doesn't sound ridiculous at all.

[Al Qədic]

That's awesome, Null!


Now to slowly but surely buy more of them and craft the blanket fort to end all blanket forts.

[altered]

Nope. Two blankets, one quilt/comforter. I need and want no more. After all, if I end up homeless again, I have to carry this around.

But that does sound like a good idea for someone to do!