Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

[altered]

I need the money. If I didn’t, I’d say “fuck it”.

[Doktor Howl]

I need the money. If I didn’t, I’d say “fuck it”.

Naw, I mean you'd stay at work and traumatize your coworkers.

[altered]

Oh, fuck that. We’re all CS drones for a security company. We’ve got enough collective trauma to fill an ER.

Also, I wouldn’t want to do that to the janitorial staff. They deserve better.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, fuck that. We’re all CS drones for a security company. We’ve got enough collective trauma to fill an ER.

Also, I wouldn’t want to do that to the janitorial staff. They deserve better.

When I was at the chemical plant, there was a plumber that would curse at me every time he saw me.

[altered]

  I don’t aspire to that here, because our cleaning staff don’t work for the company, only the building.

If I had taken that government job that paid pennies, though, you bet my ass that I’d be striving to see how many people I could get to quit on the strength of stink alone.

Bonus points if someone had the toilet back up on them due to a “discourtesy flush”. Ah, what might have been.

ETA: also, given the food they bring us at work, the results might get me fired under the Geneva Convention.

Intestinal distress is a given with Jamaican food. But if you already HAVE intestinal distress before you dig into that amazing goat curry, they have to evacuate the premises and send in a decontamination team.



ETA 2: in other news, “more fun than you really wanted” day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let’s take it from the top!

[Doktor Howl]

ETA 2: in other news, “more fun than you really wanted” day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let’s take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.

[altered]

I don’t know why she’d bother punishing me for that. I have far worse failings, like my addiction to third rate nu metal bands or my deep occult knowledge of birds.

Even those aren’t all that bad though. The real reason God needs to come after me is my knowledge of how security systems work.

The fact is, I have learned too much and if you ever want to know about it you’ll have to go somewhere else. They put a tiny giraffe in my stomach and every time it notices me spilling the company secrets it bites a hole in my spleen so I die of internal bleeding. I wish to god I was joking. Oh fuck the tiny giraffe is also a company secret someone please get this tiny giraffe out of my stomach before it wakes up and notices I’ve told the secrets

[Doktor Howl]

The waiting room is full of Viagra salesmen.

ARE YOU PEOPLE INSANE?  WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS!

 

[Doktor Howl]

Goddamn, another one.

How many fucking Viagra users are there to warrant this kind of effort?

[Cain]

Well I've already banned four today so...at least five?

[Faust]

I am going to look into the stopforumspam thing this weekend, last weekend was a run around but I should get a while to take a look at it then. It's persistent and annoying.

[Doktor Howl]

It's an annoyance, mostly because I kind of have to leave all the intake business to Cain, whom I imagine has other things that need doing.

But in your own time, Faust, as it is only an annoyance.

[hoopla]

ETA 2: in other news, “more fun than you really wanted” day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let’s take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.

I'm making brussel sprouts tonight. This should be fun.

[Doktor Howl]

ETA 2: in other news, “more fun than you really wanted” day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let’s take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.

I'm making brussel sprouts tonight. This should be fun.

And then Toronto got the fist o' god.

[altered]

We’ll hear the crack from Boston. It might drown out the hellscreeching of the Green Line.