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Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

Started by Cain, October 02, 2018, 12:20:11 AM

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altered

I need the money. If I didn't, I'd say "fuck it".
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: nullified on November 20, 2019, 01:15:56 AM
I need the money. If I didn't, I'd say "fuck it".

Naw, I mean you'd stay at work and traumatize your coworkers.
Molon Lube

altered

Oh, fuck that. We're all CS drones for a security company. We've got enough collective trauma to fill an ER.

Also, I wouldn't want to do that to the janitorial staff. They deserve better.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: nullified on November 20, 2019, 01:24:35 AM
Oh, fuck that. We're all CS drones for a security company. We've got enough collective trauma to fill an ER.

Also, I wouldn't want to do that to the janitorial staff. They deserve better.

When I was at the chemical plant, there was a plumber that would curse at me every time he saw me.
Molon Lube

altered

#1459
 :lulz: I don’t aspire to that here, because our cleaning staff don’t work for the company, only the building.

If I had taken that government job that paid pennies, though, you bet my ass that I’d be striving to see how many people I could get to quit on the strength of stink alone.

Bonus points if someone had the toilet back up on them due to a “discourtesy flush”. Ah, what might have been.

ETA: also, given the food they bring us at work, the results might get me fired under the Geneva Convention.

Intestinal distress is a given with Jamaican food. But if you already HAVE intestinal distress before you dig into that amazing goat curry, they have to evacuate the premises and send in a decontamination team.



ETA 2: in other news, “more fun than you really wanted” day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let’s take it from the top!
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: nullified on November 20, 2019, 01:37:21 AM

ETA 2: in other news, "more fun than you really wanted" day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let's take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.
Molon Lube

altered

I don't know why she'd bother punishing me for that. I have far worse failings, like my addiction to third rate nu metal bands or my deep occult knowledge of birds.

Even those aren't all that bad though. The real reason God needs to come after me is my knowledge of how security systems work.

The fact is, I have learned too much and if you ever want to know about it you'll have to go somewhere else. They put a tiny giraffe in my stomach and every time it notices me spilling the company secrets it bites a hole in my spleen so I die of internal bleeding. I wish to god I was joking. Oh fuck the tiny giraffe is also a company secret someone please get this tiny giraffe out of my stomach before it wakes up and notices I've told the secrets
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

The waiting room is full of Viagra salesmen.

ARE YOU PEOPLE INSANE?  WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS!

:fursecution:
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

Goddamn, another one.

How many fucking Viagra users are there to warrant this kind of effort?
Molon Lube

Cain

Well I've already banned four today so...at least five?

Faust

I am going to look into the stopforumspam thing this weekend, last weekend was a run around but I should get a while to take a look at it then. It's persistent and annoying.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Doktor Howl

It's an annoyance, mostly because I kind of have to leave all the intake business to Cain, whom I imagine has other things that need doing.

But in your own time, Faust, as it is only an annoyance.
Molon Lube

hooplala

Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 20, 2019, 01:59:42 AM
Quote from: nullified on November 20, 2019, 01:37:21 AM

ETA 2: in other news, "more fun than you really wanted" day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let's take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.

I'm making brussel sprouts tonight. This should be fun.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Hoopla! on November 20, 2019, 10:45:34 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on November 20, 2019, 01:59:42 AM
Quote from: nullified on November 20, 2019, 01:37:21 AM

ETA 2: in other news, "more fun than you really wanted" day continues with some of our greatest hits: tripping up the stairs, missing the pillow and smashing your head into hard wooden things, and that all time classic, hitting your elbow on the doorframe. Let's take it from the top!

That's just God punishing you for your brussel sprouts addiction.

I'm making brussel sprouts tonight. This should be fun.

And then Toronto got the fist o' god.
Molon Lube

altered

We'll hear the crack from Boston. It might drown out the hellscreeching of the Green Line.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.