Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Campaign is eating most of my everything, and being behind on work-work is eating the rest.

Working with the local street medic trainer to improve their mental health first aid resources, some holy nonsense material may end up getting rolled up in that (pope card format but without the pope card part). Anti-nazi project is moving along well. Hope all these new faces don't get chewed off before November when I can be around more.

Congrats to the folks making progress on legal transitions and Fujikoma's smitten ass

[chaotic neutral observer]

[...]

TL;DR:  I took the road less traveled by, and almost fell off.

Yoink?

Yoink at will.


Aftermath: My shin didn't turn purple after all, just yellowish.  Still hurts a little under load.  Bone bruise, maybe?

I'm going to see if I can work up the nerve to retrace my steps, assuming I can find that path again.  I've been having a bad month, brain-wise, and feel like I should be doing something to fight back.

[Fujikoma]

The road less traveled is always more dangerous... it also has fewer cigarette butts littered about if you need to stop for a smoke break and don't have any because you're poor... but for all of what it lacks it makes up ten-fold in novelty, and this is irreplaceable, though sometimes unpleasant and on occasion, deadly.

That sense of the new that takes the routine, the hum-drum, and reshapes it into something exciting, that stretches the perception of time, splashes cold water on the face of the soul and screams "WAKE UP! IT'S HAPPENING, RIGHT NOW!!!"

Still, knowing what I do now, I'd view it with skepticism, novelty for the sake of novelty has led me to some really bad places. I'd much rather seek these unconventional experiences by either necessity, or if there's a potential payoff beyond simply experiencing the unconventional.

[Juana]

The road less traveled is always more dangerous... it also has fewer cigarette butts littered about if you need to stop for a smoke break and don't have any because you're poor... but for all of what it lacks it makes up ten-fold in novelty, and this is irreplaceable, though sometimes unpleasant and on occasion, deadly.

That sense of the new that takes the routine, the hum-drum, and reshapes it into something exciting, that stretches the perception of time, splashes cold water on the face of the soul and screams "WAKE UP! IT'S HAPPENING, RIGHT NOW!!!"

Still, knowing what I do now, I'd view it with skepticism, novelty for the sake of novelty has led me to some really bad places. I'd much rather seek these unconventional experiences by either necessity, or if there's a potential payoff beyond simply experiencing the unconventional.

I would always know more but yes, sometimes the road less traveled isn't worth it. No need to re-invent the wheel.



On a different and more life-y note, I'm due to start a long term subbing gig on Monday teaching English and history at a magnet middle school, and I'm excited. This is going to be a much better time than the last time I took a long term gig and is a major opportunity for growth, I think. Also, I met the lead teacher for the department and I think I charmed her, which is good bc a position might be opening up here next year and I will be applying.

[altered]

I had the realization today that when big things happen to me, good or bad, I change as a person. The personality I present shifts, often dramatically.

For most people, this is a "duh" thing, but I have the kind of damage that leads to multiple people living in your brainmeat. Big change in people with that sort of issue tends to manifest in splitting, their own personalities (as opposed to their personae) change much more slowly as a general rule.

So it is surprising to me to realize that I don't recognize myself in my past. Even my recent past. I've come further, faster, than had seemed possible. That's not to say I think my past self was unsalvageable, but rather that my past self was fucked. Age 40, maybe start keeping my shit together a little kind of fucked. Progress possible... eventually.



All of this is to note that I'm out of my probationary period at my company and expectations have been set. I was told that if I want a position, I can and will get it, when rather than if. They will bend over backwards to make time for me. And that I'm the highest performing new hire in over four years, and one of the top performing employees in the entire company.

It's weird to realize that I, the most blatantly self-critical person I personally know the self-critique habits of, took that news not with an attempt to downplay my ability but with a "yeah, I know" sort of confidence, and an eagerness to get down to business on climbing my way through the company. Hence this whole thing. I am not who I was, and that is both particularly weird for me and apparently a good thing.

Some day I intend to write up an exhaustive list of changes I've made, not for a post here but as a sort of reminder that despite my damage, I can be functional, I can improve.

[Juana]

I'm excited for you, null! that sounds awesome on both fronts! 

[Doktor Howl]

I was gonna get my flu shot this Wednesday.

Instead, I got the flu on Saturday. 

Pour some out for your homie.   

[hooplala]

Real olive oil, thanks. Some Colatura or Garam would be great.

I had no idea real olive oil would make such a colossal difference - damn.

I mean, I definitely thought it would be better, but not quite so drastically.

[Cain]

I was gonna get my flu shot this Wednesday.

Instead, I got the flu on Saturday. 

Pour some out for your homie.   

Flu is sneaky like that.

[hooplala]

I'm in Rome.

Anyone need anything?

If you could bring back the Trevi Fountain, that'd be great.

It turned out to be over the weight limits for my plane.

[LMNO]

Real olive oil, thanks. Some Colatura or Garam would be great.

I had no idea real olive oil would make such a colossal difference - damn.

I mean, I definitely thought it would be better, but not quite so drastically.

I know, right?

[hooplala]

Real olive oil, thanks. Some Colatura or Garam would be great.

I had no idea real olive oil would make such a colossal difference - damn.

I mean, I definitely thought it would be better, but not quite so drastically.

I know, right?

And now I know how to identify the real thing.... so that should make things easier moving forward.

[altered]

How IS it better? I know now that it is but not in what ways.

[Doktor Howl]

Angry Russian bot in the waiting room.

[Faust]

Angry Russian bot in the waiting room.

Not today SatanPutin