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So essentially, the enemy of my enemy is not my friend, he's just another moronic, entitled turd in the bucket.

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Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

Started by Cain, October 02, 2018, 12:20:11 AM

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Doktor Howl

#1245
October 13, 2019, 05:51:32 PM
Quote from: nullified on October 13, 2019, 08:00:34 AM
For my part, I've replaced optimism and believing the best of people by default with a grin and the absolute 100% certainty that if they cannot find a pig to fuck, they will buy some bacon and play oinking noises on YouTube.


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Molon Lube

Don Coyote

#1246
October 13, 2019, 09:55:53 PM
Flashing back to suffering through the first anthrax shot AND small pox. ugh. Just get flu shots.

altered

#1247
October 13, 2019, 10:03:31 PM Last Edit: October 13, 2019, 10:11:59 PM by nullified
Yesterday night I also had the realization that I am actually legitimately terrifying to people who have no idea who I am, especially to interact with me for the first time. I combine the worst apparent traits of all-knowing high wizard, moody anime antagonist, and foul mouthed cyberpunk hacker bitch.

The people I was talking to warmed up to it after they learned a bit about me, but there was some definite tension of the “Are you judging me? Are you going to kill me? Are you going to steal my credit card information and beat me to death with it?” varieties there.

This realization led me to the separate realization that I am not someone you want to meet if I don’t like you for some reason, and that I can use this power for good.

Particularly I have a certain manager in my sights. I wonder if I can get a chance to talk to him one on one for a few minutes? I should find out.

ETA: I just had another realization. Even though I call myself harmless, I am the exact opposite of harmless and can be allowed to continue existing only because I have total and complete control over my capacity for harm.

This can also be used for good.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

#1248
October 14, 2019, 03:15:59 AM
Quote from: nullified on October 13, 2019, 10:03:31 PM
and that I can use this power for good.


Boo!  :crankey:
Molon Lube

Fujikoma

#1249
October 14, 2019, 04:08:25 AM
Somehow my sinister aura inverted itself and now strangers sit near me and start conversations... it's odd, it's like one day things just got flipped on their ear.

Trivial

#1250
October 14, 2019, 05:34:24 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on October 14, 2019, 04:08:25 AM
Somehow my sinister aura inverted itself and now strangers sit near me and start conversations... it's odd, it's like one day things just got flipped on their ear.

Cool, I've recently noticed the opposite, maybe we switched?  Or I've finally grown a proper resting bitch face.



Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Fujikoma

#1251
October 14, 2019, 04:12:53 PM
I dunno, it's just weird. It may be that I started avoiding white people. It shouldn't be about race but I've always had issues with them. I have one white friend these days but, she's a badass from Boston who takes no shit.

altered

#1252
October 16, 2019, 12:32:40 AM
My latest goal: get the fuck off these HELL PHONES right away.

Means: email training.

Approach: be basically competent.

Current status: success.

Tomorrow I train all day. Then I beg them to put me on the (horribly undersized) email team, who would take a trained parrot with a severed hand right now. Then I work two more godawful days on the HELL PHONES. Then I get a day off, and one more day in HELL PHONES. Finally, I leave them behind, and go back to what I'm good at: typing a fucking lot.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Roly Poly Oly-Garch

#1253
October 16, 2019, 02:21:03 AM
I worked email for Nike for a bit. That was comically corporate. Shit like the first time you refer to the SportWatch, you need to call it the 'Nike+ SportWatch GPS. After that refer to it as the 'SportWatch'. It was still hell, but it was funny hell and didn't require me to have to think on my feet so much.

A definite upgrade.

Quote from: nullified on October 16, 2019, 12:32:40 AM
My latest goal: get the fuck off these HELL PHONES right away.

Means: email training.

Approach: be basically competent.

Current status: success.

Tomorrow I train all day. Then I beg them to put me on the (horribly undersized) email team, who would take a trained parrot with a severed hand right now. Then I work two more godawful days on the HELL PHONES. Then I get a day off, and one more day in HELL PHONES. Finally, I leave them behind, and go back to what I'm good at: typing a fucking lot.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

altered

#1254
October 16, 2019, 05:07:25 AM
Here it's stuff like "don't put the company in the news" and "be a human being not a marketing robot" and "follow basic rules for writing terse, readable, useful emails".
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

altered

#1255
October 16, 2019, 05:50:47 AM Last Edit: October 16, 2019, 06:02:55 AM by nullified
There’s a libertarian on this bus ranting at the driver. He just decried fiat currency and expounded upon the gold standard while saying crypto is great.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

ETA: update! He just said crypto will eliminate exchange rates and the concept of debt. This is fucking amazing.

ETA2: now its gone into bankers are brainwashing the little folk and is just skirting the edge of “the Jews are evil”. I want to throw rocks.

Final update:

By the time I got off it had gotten distinctly frothing. Globalist bankers rule the world through greed, we should build a party and take back what is ours, etc...

I watched a libertarian convince himself on fascism  in real fucking time. Someone just knock me the fuck out, I want to sleep.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

chaotic neutral observer

#1256
October 16, 2019, 02:18:01 PM
Quote from: nullified on October 16, 2019, 05:07:25 AM
... "be a human being not a marketing robot" and "follow basic rules for writing terse, readable, useful emails".

If how you post here is any indication, you can do it!

Quote"don't put the company in the news"

If how you post here...is any...indication...

:um:
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

altered

#1257
October 16, 2019, 06:12:49 PM
How I post here is an accurate indication, except I swear less and I know my audience (rich racist old people, primarily).

I have not been called unprofessional by anyone to date, except one guy who was clearly enjoying the lack of professionalism, which I was offering only because I had accurately judged him to be the sort of person to enjoy a cynical and sarcastic sense of humor.

In other words, I'm really, really good at this job.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

altered

#1258
October 21, 2019, 08:02:31 AM
I ran out of money and needed to eat. My job and horrible commute doesn't give me enough time to cook actual real human food that is affordable. So what did I do?

With my last 6 dollars, I bought cheezits. I reasoned that I lived on those for WEEKS while traveling across the country, so what could go wrong?

Verdict: not enough carbs. Nearly blacked out. Bad move.

Tonight I was STARVING and knew I needed food to live off of tomorrow more than I needed to sleep. I cooked up two broccoli cheddar Knorr Rice Sides (you know, the dollar bags of rice and cheap flavorings) and two cans of corned beef hash.

I did this because I had them mostly, but also because it took only an hour (largest amount of time I could spare) and everything else would have taken longer or been insufficient.

At the end of this (which was an ADVENTURE, I nearly was murdered by the corned beef hash because I decided to fry two full cans of it in a single pan) I filled up a small bowl with a delightful mix of textureless green specks and crunchy reddish brown chunks of meat in a sea of yellow, cheesy rice and golden fried potato.

I was full in five bites. I managed to fit the rest of it in me, but it was a struggle. Keep in mind I can eat a full pizza in one sitting and have room for seconds (QGP can confirm).

So, uh, that's impressive.

Now I have almost a liter and a half of this stuff, which tastes like heaven and has enough grease to make a fatberg out of. I could live off of this for a week. I'm actually intimidated.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Fujikoma

#1259
October 21, 2019, 08:10:37 AM Last Edit: October 21, 2019, 08:13:18 AM by Fujikoma
I enjoy dumping cans of tuna into velveeta shells and cheese. Explore this option at your own peril, it may consume your soul, and fill you with unholy preservatives.

EDIT: There's just something with the way canned tuna fish blends with velveeta. I don't know what it is, but it's seriously witchcraft.
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