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Let's start our own newsfeed, without blackjack or hookers

Started by Cramulus, October 23, 2018, 07:40:04 PM

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LMNO

The most recent economic forecast for New Scotland (formerly Britain) is surprisingly upbeat.

Trivial

Plant placed under tension when growing yields fruit that tastes like bacon.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Brother Mythos

Unicorn Interrupts Political Rally

A flatulent unicorn horned in on a political rally in Redneckville, Redstate today. The initially rowdy crowd switched from screaming loud choruses of "lock her up," to singing "Kumbaya" as the unicorn walked among them.

Later, rally participants were seen smiling and waving peace signs as they exited the rally venue.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

altered

Quote from: Brother Mythos on October 26, 2018, 07:59:33 PM
Unicorn Interrupts Political Rally

A flatulent unicorn horned in on a political rally in Redneckville, Redstate today. The initially rowdy crowd switched from screaming loud choruses of "lock her up," to singing "Kumbaya" as the unicorn walked among them.

Later, rally participants were seen smiling and waving peace signs as they exited the rally venue.

My sources say it was a Pegasus, not a unicorn. No one captured photographs though, and unicorns are historically more likely to spread peace via violent gut wind. Maybe an expert on the matter like Professor Cramulus could weigh in?
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Brother Mythos

NEWS UPDATE

As reported earlier, a flatulent unicorn horned in on a political rally in Redneckville, Redstate today.

This Just In:

Upon exiting the rally venue, participants were greeted by the sight of multiple rainbows. In addition, many in the crowd told our reporter that unicorn farts smell like fried bacon.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

Suspicious Package Intercepted at White House

A suspicious package addressed to Donald J. Trump was intercepted by Secret Service agents today.

Upon X-raying the package, Public Safety Bomb Technicians determined it contained a dictionary and a copy of the U.S. Constitution.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

Eco-friendly Pizza Box Unfolds Into Solar Panel

A Silicon Valley tech startup company has developed an economical, eco-friendly pizza box that unfolds into a high efficiency electric solar panel.

And, as an added bonus, the designers guarantee, with no batteries required, that the high tech box will keep your pizza "oven hot," until meal time.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

rong

"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

Brother Mythos

Quote from: rong on October 29, 2018, 04:17:34 AM
Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport

That was funny, rong. But, couldn't you, at least, make the effort to plagiarize the ONION®, rather than just copying and pasting their YouTube hyperlink? Is that really too much to ask?
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

rong

Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport
"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

Bruno

Formerly something else...

Brother Mythos

Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

LMNO


Brother Mythos

Quote from: Cramulus on October 23, 2018, 07:40:04 PM
Just make a bunch of light, harmless, fun posts in this thread as if you're posting status updates from a non-fucked world.


not true

What do you mean NOT TRUE?! How is THAT in keeping with the spirit of this thread?! There's a reason it's called Floriduh!
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.