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Let's start our own newsfeed, without blackjack or hookers

Started by Cramulus, October 23, 2018, 07:40:04 PM

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Cramulus

Yo, social media is stressing me out (which is probably a sign I'm on it too much). Every single post is trash, everywhere. So here's what I want you to do. Just make a bunch of light, harmless, fun posts in this thread as if you're posting status updates from a non-fucked world. Then I'll scroll through this thread once every 5 minutes and pretend it's real life.



Q. G. Pennyworth


Doktor Howl

The asteroid community just announced 80% self-sufficiency.
Molon Lube

Cramulus

also, the Nutrition community has resolved its conflicts bloodlessly--the coup was rescinded and democracy and reason reigns again.

The Wizard Joseph

Human rights expo a smashing success. China to lead expansion of humanitarian aid to SE Asia. North and South Korea reconciliation well under way. Tibet free to be as weird as it wants. Hong Kong declared an independent state, signs trade pact bridging the Eastern and Western economic spheres. Overall a glorious 2018!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Cramulus

its pretty cool how cats can talk now


                                                                My penis is in fine working condition!
                                                              /
                  ;,_            ,
                 _uP~"b          d"u,
                dP'   "b       ,d"  "o
               d"    , `b     d"'    "b
              l] [    " `l,  d"       lb
              Ol ?     "  "b`"=uoqo,_  "l
            ,dBb "b        "b,    `"~~TObup,_
          ,d" (db.`"         ""     "tbc,_ `~"Yuu,_
        .d" l`T'  '=                      ~     `""Yu,
      ,dO` gP,                           `u,   b,_  "b7
     d?' ,d" l,                           `"b,_ `~b  "1
   ,8i' dl   `l                 ,ggQOV",dbgq,._"  `l  lb
  .df' (O,    "             ,ggQY"~  , @@@@@d"bd~  `b "1
.df'   `"           -=@QgpOY""     (b  @@@@P db    `Lp"b,
.d(                  _               "ko "=d_,Q`  ,_  "  "b,
Ql         .         `"qo,._          "tQo,_`""bo ;tb,    `"b,
qQ         |L           ~"QQQgggc,_.,dObc,opooO  `"~~";.   __,7,
qp         t\io,_           `~"TOOggQV""""        _,dg,_ =PIQHib.
`qp        `Q["tQQQo,_                          ,pl{QOP"'   7AFR`
  `         `tb  '""tQQQg,_             p" "b   `       .;-.`Vl'
             "Yb      `"tQOOo,__    _,edb    ` .__   /`/'|  |b;=;.__
                           `"tQQQOOOOP""`"\QV;qQObob"`-._`\_~~-._
                                """"    ._        /   | |oP"\_   ~\ ~\_~\
                                        `~"\ic,qggddOOP"|  |  ~\   `\~-._
                                          ,qP`"""|"   | `\ `;   `\   `\
                               _        _,p"     |    |   `\`;    |    |
       unknown                 "boo,._dP"       `\_  `\    `\|   `\   ;
                                 `"7tY~'            `\  `\    `|_   |
                                                      `~\  |

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cramulus on October 23, 2018, 09:00:02 PM
its pretty cool how cats can talk now


                                                                My penis is in fine working condition!
                                                              /
                  ;,_            ,
                 _uP~"b          d"u,
                dP'   "b       ,d"  "o
               d"    , `b     d"'    "b
              l] [    " `l,  d"       lb
              Ol ?     "  "b`"=uoqo,_  "l
            ,dBb "b        "b,    `"~~TObup,_
          ,d" (db.`"         ""     "tbc,_ `~"Yuu,_
        .d" l`T'  '=                      ~     `""Yu,
      ,dO` gP,                           `u,   b,_  "b7
     d?' ,d" l,                           `"b,_ `~b  "1
   ,8i' dl   `l                 ,ggQOV",dbgq,._"  `l  lb
  .df' (O,    "             ,ggQY"~  , @@@@@d"bd~  `b "1
.df'   `"           -=@QgpOY""     (b  @@@@P db    `Lp"b,
.d(                  _               "ko "=d_,Q`  ,_  "  "b,
Ql         .         `"qo,._          "tQo,_`""bo ;tb,    `"b,
qQ         |L           ~"QQQgggc,_.,dObc,opooO  `"~~";.   __,7,
qp         t\io,_           `~"TOOggQV""""        _,dg,_ =PIQHib.
`qp        `Q["tQQQo,_                          ,pl{QOP"'   7AFR`
  `         `tb  '""tQQQg,_             p" "b   `       .;-.`Vl'
             "Yb      `"tQOOo,__    _,edb    ` .__   /`/'|  |b;=;.__
                           `"tQQQOOOOP""`"\QV;qQObob"`-._`\_~~-._
                                """"    ._        /   | |oP"\_   ~\ ~\_~\
                                        `~"\ic,qggddOOP"|  |  ~\   `\~-._
                                          ,qP`"""|"   | `\ `;   `\   `\
                               _        _,p"     |    |   `\`;    |    |
       unknown                 "boo,._dP"       `\_  `\    `\|   `\   ;
                                 `"7tY~'            `\  `\    `|_   |
                                                      `~\  |


:lulz::mittens::lulz:
Molon Lube

Faust

A rare linked video of Klaus Nomi singing a cover of "I will survive". It's got novelty, but you'll never watch it again after liking this status.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

chaotic neutral observer

China has brought its third fusion reactor online, and will be shutting down another five coal-fired power plants.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Cain

This year's mandatory global cat video watching day is a huge success.  Many thanks to internet giants for putting pressure on employers and governments to make this an official holiday.

Brother Mythos

Space Aliens from 40 Eridani A made first contact with humanity today.

As a token of friendship, they have given us the technology to economically make unlimited quantities of food from carbon dioxide. And, the alien food tastes exactly like bacon.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

I've upped my game. So, up yours.

Eater of Clowns

Cram shuffles over to the Internet in his bathrobe.

"You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go."
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Eater of Clowns

"Hey Williams I heard your mom's still online."

"Yeah well someone's got to follow your mom on Insta."

"HAH! Anyway, you going to Rob's later?"
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

LMNO

The proletariat just seized the means of production.






YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Faust

Vague political outrage at something the racist hotel concierge who became president did today.
Sleepless nights at the chateau