Poll

The aliens haven't contacted us because:

We're made of meat
They have, they just talked to Roger first.
Have you met us?
We're the most advanced thing in the galaxy.
Space is like, really big.
Time is like, really long.
SHUT UP
There aren't any.

Author Topic: The aliens haven't contacted us because  (Read 2885 times)

The Johnny

  • did nots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3879
    • View Profile

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 32873
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #61 on: March 03, 2019, 03:07:18 am »
Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush?  :kiss:

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?
"What were you expecting?  Violins?"
- Lieutenant Checkov

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 62535
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #62 on: March 03, 2019, 09:51:28 am »
Maybe the aliens are even dumber than us? Spaceships aside, I'm not so impressed.

"Yup, this is definitely a human anus. Just like the other two million we've probed. Remember when we used to mutiliate cattle? I mean, don't get me wrong, we had the DNA sequences from the start so it was equally pointless, but at least it was a change. Something different."

The Johnny

  • did nots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3879
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #63 on: March 03, 2019, 10:40:20 am »
Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush?  :kiss:

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz  :asshat:

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain.  :fnord:

The Johnny

  • did nots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3879
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #64 on: March 03, 2019, 10:42:30 am »
Maybe the aliens are even dumber than us? Spaceships aside, I'm not so impressed.

"Yup, this is definitely a human anus. Just like the other two million we've probed. Remember when we used to mutiliate cattle? I mean, don't get me wrong, we had the DNA sequences from the start so it was equally pointless, but at least it was a change. Something different."

"Sure, 2 million is a good sampling, but how about another 2 million? 1,999,999 more to go!"

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 32873
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #65 on: March 03, 2019, 04:46:44 pm »
Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush?  :kiss:

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz  :asshat:

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain.  :fnord:

That's fucking awesome.
"What were you expecting?  Violins?"
- Lieutenant Checkov

chaotic neutral observer

  • Buttwiggler of the Wasteland
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 378
  • not a real discordian
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #66 on: March 03, 2019, 05:09:58 pm »
What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz  :asshat:

Johnny, stop trying to make contact with your food, and finish eating it.  Don't you want any dessert?
You will cooperate with the state, for the good of the state and your own survival. You will confess to the crimes of which you have been accused. You will be released and returned to society a productive citizen if you cooperate. Resistance will be punished. Cooperation will be rewarded.   --"Intersections in Real Time"

nullified

  • Literal Helminthic Infestation
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 529
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #67 on: March 03, 2019, 06:04:11 pm »
Even on the rare occasion when humans TRY to make things better, they just fuck it up and everything becomes scum.


https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/delta-has-apologised-after-handing-out-creepy-diet-coke-napkins-to-passengers-encouraging-them-to-give-their-number-to-their-plane-crush/ar-BBTfnk8?ocid=spartanntp

Wanna be my plane-crash-crush?  :kiss:

Well, YOU'RE a sight for sore eyes.  Where the hell have you been?

What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz  :asshat:

But ok for real, i think it was 2014? So I finished my bachelors on Social Psychology, worked some years with literal psychotics, and im about done with my masters on psychoanalysis.

Sort of a FUN ride in all the wrong ways, but i cant complain.  :fnord:

That's fucking awesome.

Damn, it sure is.

Good to see you back, Johnny.

The Johnny

  • did nots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3879
    • View Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #68 on: March 03, 2019, 10:27:30 pm »
What matters is that i'm here to contact the hoomanz  :asshat:

Johnny, stop trying to make contact with your food, and finish eating it.  Don't you want any dessert?

Fiiiiiine mom, but do we still have Soylent Green Jell-O?

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

  • Promotor Fidei
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2095
  • Behold! The Yellow Sign of Dobbshead
    • View Profile
    • Yiffstar User Profile
Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« Reply #69 on: March 16, 2019, 04:52:50 pm »
Finding another inhabited planet, assuming there are any, would be like finding a particular needle in a haystack sized pile of mass-produced needles
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago