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The aliens haven't contacted us because

Started by Trivial, February 05, 2019, 02:23:44 PM

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The aliens haven't contacted us because:

We're made of meat
They have, they just talked to Roger first.
Have you met us?
We're the most advanced thing in the galaxy.
Space is like, really big.
Time is like, really long.
SHUT UP
There aren't any.

Trivial

Cube mate thought they have made contact, but are playing politics.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

chaotic neutral observer

Quote from: Trivial on February 05, 2019, 02:23:44 PM
Cube mate thought they have made contact, but are playing politics.

That would be the lizard-men who are playing politics.  But they're not aliens, they're indigenous to Earth.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

Faust

There is a big sign 20 lightyears in each direction from earth saying "Avoid, primate infestation"
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Trivial

Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on February 05, 2019, 02:48:54 PM
Quote from: Trivial on February 05, 2019, 02:23:44 PM
Cube mate thought they have made contact, but are playing politics.

That would be the lizard-men who are playing politics.  But they're not aliens, they're indigenous to Earth.

They're playing politics because it's immoral to kill us off, but if we're gonna kill each other, that's ok.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Doktor Howl

They haven't made contact because apparently Mary Poppins is racist because chimney sweeps get soot on them and nobody in England has ever sung a song.

This is why *I* don't make contact with the stupid humans.
Molon Lube

Trivial

Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 05, 2019, 05:23:05 PM
They haven't made contact because apparently Mary Poppins is racist because chimney sweeps get soot on them and nobody in England has ever sung a song.

This is why *I* don't make contact with the stupid humans.

Wat
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

LMNO

For those who wish to read the op-ed:  https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/28/movies/mary-poppins-returns-blackface.html

In summary: While not RACIST racist, the original novels were steeped in White Superiority (as was the fashion of the time).  The original Disney movie kept some of these elements, probably not to be RACIST racist (though Walt was pretty sketchy -- Song of the South, anyone?), but most likely because the terms were outdated ("Hottentot"), not to mention that it surely wasn't noticed, as White Superiority was still in fashion in '64.  The two following sequels are also not RACIST racist, because while they continue the throughline to the original books (naturally, since it's the same story), the amount of people who know about the not-so-nice parts of the original rapidly approach zero.  Plus, even today, there's still a strong attitude of white supremacy in this country.

So yeah, on the face of it, it's kind of ridiculous.  But not 100% absurd, just absurd enough to get into the NYT op-ed section.





EDIT: Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Con-troll

#8
I'd bet my flying saucer that aliens have MUCH bigger problems, and are therefore too busy to contact every godforsaken planet in this galaxy. Thank Eris there's not any strategic importance, or alien equivalent of oil in our solar system.

edit:Maybe they're shy. We haven't contacted them after all.
I get trauma from stuff most don't even notice.

Bruno

The aliens are here, and have been here for a very long time. You think stupid humans could have built the pyramids, digital watches, or spray cheese? Pshaw!

In reality, all powerful world leaders, billionaires, etc are in fact just CGI characters running on some alien computer. Hillary Clinton, George Soros, Donald Trump, even Sean Hannity, all simulated by some quantum doohickey disguised as an old enV3 phone in some alien's pocket.

The aliens themselves are just bored teenagers (or whatever the equivalent is for their species) out for a laugh.
Formerly something else...

Trivial

Quote from: LMNO on February 05, 2019, 06:43:18 PM
For those who wish to read the op-ed:  https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/28/movies/mary-poppins-returns-blackface.html

In summary: While not RACIST racist, the original novels were steeped in White Superiority (as was the fashion of the time).  The original Disney movie kept some of these elements, probably not to be RACIST racist (though Walt was pretty sketchy -- Song of the South, anyone?), but most likely because the terms were outdated ("Hottentot"), not to mention that it surely wasn't noticed, as White Superiority was still in fashion in '64.  The two following sequels are also not RACIST racist, because while they continue the throughline to the original books (naturally, since it's the same story), the amount of people who know about the not-so-nice parts of the original rapidly approach zero.  Plus, even today, there's still a strong attitude of white supremacy in this country.

So yeah, on the face of it, it's kind of ridiculous.  But not 100% absurd, just absurd enough to get into the NYT op-ed section.





EDIT: Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Didn't think about the books.

Reminds me, I have travel books written between 1904 - 1924 that are really interesting about how an American viewed various nationalities.  Not as racist as expected, but still racist.  Dude thought the Japanese were wonderful.  Also wrote something like "The air is filled with optimism in Russia for the new government"  :horrormirth:

Also he thought bears made excellent pets.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Cramulus

1. I think Aliens haven't gotten in contact because they are not organisms in the same sense that we understand. They may be trying to talk to our cells, or our Internet

2. I'm obligated to mention that PL Travers (author of mary poppins) was a Gurdjieff follower - apparently the novels after the first one cram a lot of Gurdjieff into her shtick. Later in the series, I think they reveal that she's a cosmic being, like Gandalf. So maybe Poppins is the alien we're talking about here.

which leads me to ask


Why hasn't Mary Poppins made contact with Roger?

Cain

Maybe the real aliens are the friends crackpot theories we made along the way.

LMNO


Doktor Howl

All I know is that if some wise race of Galactic Space Brothers or some shit comes by, we should fuck them up real bad.

Dok,
Thinks those Sentinelese islanders have the right idea.
Molon Lube