Taxonomy Schmaxonomy

[Goddess Eris]

While rummaging for truffles in my fridge last night, I came upon what I thought was pre-cooked ham. One horrifying nibble later, I realized it was NOT cooked, as my brain screamed loudly "HAM TASTES LIKE PEOPLE". Now, I've never to my knowledge eaten a person, but this was such a strong thought that I had to do a Google — I've come across enough esoteric gobbledegook implying that humans and pigs are related, and the whole "longpig"/we can use their parts as spare parts/'pigs are unclean animals' thing had me wondering.

That led me to this wishy-washy article on The Outline about the research of Gene McCarthy, PhD. From there, I landed on his extensive website, Macroevolution.net.



Human-Bovine hybrid


Human-Porcine hybrid


Video: Human-Goat hybrid

A little eyebleach:





Video of Cabbits (Cat-Rabbit hybrid)

The big deal, the stuff that'll mess with your appreciation of bacon:

His extensive and logically-sound hypothesis that humans are primate-porcine hybrids

Naturally, no one wants to hear this, because "ew gross" and "but my morning bacon-egg-and-cheese". I have personally chucked my concept of taxonomy out the window... but will I stop eating pork? Dunno... cannibalism doesn't seem to be a problem for our piggy cousins.

[hooplala]

That is not a cat/rabbit hybrid. Go google "winged cats". And i will eat a ten gallon hat if any of those others are hybrids either.

[Doktor Howl]

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

[Goddess Eris]

That is not a cat/rabbit hybrid. Go google "winged cats". And i will eat a ten gallon hat if any of those others are hybrids either.

Did you take a look at the actual science? I just posted the shock value gifs. I've googled winged cats, and frankly after reading the rest of his research (which I couldn't be bothered to regurgitate since he states it all quite plainly on his website) I think the hybrid hypothesis makes more sense than 'matted fur'.

This whole hypothesis, if it were given any credence in the scientific community, would destroy too many industries. It also would make a lot of people look stupid, their biggest fear of all. You may want to start marinating that hat.

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

Yeah this isn't getting between me and chorizo any time soon.

[hooplala]

That is not a cat/rabbit hybrid. Go google "winged cats". And i will eat a ten gallon hat if any of those others are hybrids either.

Did you take a look at the actual science? I just posted the shock value gifs. I've googled winged cats, and frankly after reading the rest of his research (which I couldn't be bothered to regurgitate since he states it all quite plainly on his website) I think the hybrid hypothesis makes more sense than 'matted fur'.

This whole hypothesis, if it were given any credence in the scientific community, would destroy too many industries. It also would make a lot of people look stupid, their biggest fear of all. You may want to start marinating that hat.

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

Yeah this isn't getting between me and chorizo any time soon.

No I didn't go to the links. It seems pretty bogus at face value. I am out at the moment but will check those out when I get home. I still don't expect to consume any hats.

Would this not be more suitable for High Weirdness than here?

[altered]

Reminder that OP buys into at least the core message of the Pizzagate bullshit.

Of course they're gonna buy all this FUD.

Everything I'm seeing in the previews is shit I've seen before, either fake or totally natural. I actively research teratological abominations and other such fun, and 169% of it is horseshit, simple DIY practical effects, and/or a disease or natural congenital malformation.

Next the multi legged frog photos will come out along with an environmentalist message, no mention that that is caused by a parasite that burrows into the joint nodes of tadpoles, causing them to grow badly so the next stage in its life cycle (birds) can eat them easier. No, it must be chemicals.

[chaotic neutral observer]

That guy starts with the assumption that human are hybrids of two modern species, and then runs off into the bushes with it, without providing evidence to support his initial assumption.  Calling that junk science would be charitable.

I am neither a veterinarian nor a felinologist, but I would guess that most of those cats lost their tails either through accidental injury, or intentional mutilation, and that this accounts for their pattern of movement.  They're not hopping like rabbits; they're hopping like cats with severe back problems.

[chaotic neutral observer]

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

[altered]

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

Rotten foul thing you are, eating vegetarian humans. I only eat vegan humans.

[chaotic neutral observer]

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

Rotten foul thing you are, eating vegetarian humans. I only eat vegan humans.

Do you even have the slightest notion of the horrors those humans are put through, to restrict them to a vegan diet?  I bet you eat veal, too.  I prefer my meat cruelty-free, thank you very much.

[altered]

I don't care.  I will eat people if I feel the need to.  A fucking pig doesn't stand a chance.

I only eat sustainably farmed, free-range humans, fed an all-vegetarian diet.

Rotten foul thing you are, eating vegetarian humans. I only eat vegan humans.

Do you even have the slightest notion of the horrors those humans are put through, to restrict them to a vegan diet?  I bet you eat veal, too.  I prefer my meat cruelty-free, thank you very much.

I do eat veal, because baby animals are less environmentally damaging. I'm trying to be environmentally conscious, good to see you care about animal emotions more than climate change. I bet you eat fully grown humans who own vehicles.

[chaotic neutral observer]

I do eat veal, because baby animals are less environmentally damaging. I'm trying to be environmentally conscious, good to see you care about animal emotions more than climate change. I bet you eat fully grown humans who own vehicles.

Vehicle drivers are tender and succulent, and their life experiences give them a depth of flavour!  Would you rather I ate bicyclists?  They're all gristle.  You can barely even use them in stew.

[altered]

I do eat veal, because baby animals are less environmentally damaging. I'm trying to be environmentally conscious, good to see you care about animal emotions more than climate change. I bet you eat fully grown humans who own vehicles.

Vehicle drivers are tender and succulent, and their life experiences give them a depth of flavour!  Would you rather I ate bicyclists?  They're all gristle.  You can barely even use them in stew.

God no, bicyclists are for sausage. I'm just saying there are better choices for the environment than encouraging a market focused on emissions-heavy adult humans.

You don't hear anyone complaining about eating baby chickens, but as soon as it's a larval human it's all animal rights and think of the children. I'd rather not have all those antibiotics and chemicals in my meat anyway.

[Al Qədic]

Non-human meat is unsettling enough with the overabundance of antibiotics and whatnot. Considering the crap humans put in their bodies, imagine how much more horrible that could be. All the awful materials and types of people that consume them; the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the ones with pica who eat inedible things...the ones that willingly drink dihydrogen monoxide! swoons

[Doktor Howl]

CNO & Nullified are on fire today.