Principia Discordia > Horrorology

Id entity

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Frontside Back:
We all know the situation. At a certain point in their life a person gets so lonely and desperate that they have to make a deal with the devil.
They get this insatiable urge to smoke cigarettes.
They absolutely know it's bad for their health,
they just wanna try it out... and maybe get to talk to that cute boy/girl that happens to be a smoker.

At the beginning smoking feels like a superpower. You get new friends, and can stick it up to the old boring ones with your new, terrific body-odor. You really feel like a part of something bigger than you. Something that always has a new task for your bored mind. Just smoke another.

Time goes by and you notice you've become ADDICTED. Smoking is now a solid part of your identity. you could stop, but you feel like even your parents won't recognize you afterwards. It took such a long time to convince them that this was something you wanted to do in the first place. All that effort for nothing? Not fucking likely!

So now you are trapped. Mistakes of yesterday have made you a just another fool in the losing end of the tobacco industry. You just don't possess the phoenix-like quality to take your life under control. So many friends suffer from the same problem that leaving them behind seems so cold you frighten yourself for even considering the possibility.

This is the dead end.
You won't change.
You won't escape.
There's one last thing you can do:

Try blowing instead of sucking.

You forgot to mention how cool smoking looks.

Frontside Back:
Shit, should I edit it in?

I would.

I took up a vaporizer. Not only do I miss the Great Morning Loogie (tm), but I also look like, 80 times the dork doing it. A truly 1337 way to alienate everyone. I think I could quit this without as many problems, I just, love my nicotine. All that said, it is important to remind people that the long-term effects haven't really been tested for and could be eleventy-billion times worse than merely sucking on a cancer tube (not to mention it could blow up in your face, which only happens with cigarrettes when your friends pack a black cat in them). You may grow 300 feet, sprout tentacles, and acquire an annoying compulsion to bellow "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!", we simply DO NOT KNOW AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

Needless to say, like anything enjoyable it's likely bad for you and will whisk you away to an early grave.

EDIT: Fixed a typo where "Loogie" was spelled "Lookie"


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