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Dad Joke of The Day

Started by Norman, August 31, 2019, 04:17:32 PM

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Norman

I've started investing in stocks.
Mostly beef and chicken right now.
I'm hoping someday to be a bouillonaire.

The Johnny


This is the real reason why you got banned.  :lulz:
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Fujikoma

Is that really the meat of the matter? Sounds like someone had some serious beef.

The Johnny

Quote from: Fujikoma on September 15, 2019, 08:40:02 PM
Is that really the meat of the matter? Sounds like someone had some serious beef.

You are allowed to do one pun per year.

Second pun gets you dragged to the backyard, shot, and thrown into an unmarked common grave.

No exceptions.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

altered

It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Fujikoma

Ok, so that allows me a lot more puns. I will use them wisely.

EDIT: Oh heaven's NO! The CHILDREN! First the deadly vaping epidemic, and now this!

The Johnny

Quote from: nullified on September 16, 2019, 06:12:51 AM
It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.

It's like how to kill a mockingbird is a sin, but to shoot a rabid dog is indeed doing everyone a favour, including the dog.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

Fujikoma

Quote from: The Johnny on September 16, 2019, 08:31:17 AM
Quote from: nullified on September 16, 2019, 06:12:51 AM
It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.

It's like how to kill a mockingbird is a sin, but to shoot a rabid dog is indeed doing everyone a favour, including the dog.

Ever been attacked by mockingbirds? Those things are bastards.