A math equation that predicts the end of humanity

[The Johnny]

This is going to end in baboonery.  * dude hasn't shown enough inflamed ass yet, he's just warming up.

You know it's a good day when you can expect MORE inflamed ass to show up by the end of it. I'm just sad I won't get to watch it live, I have work and shit.

Baboonery follows a formula.  It's more or less on rails.

Dare I say, it follows a pattern we have discovered from observing and registering cases of assburgers in this forum, which follow a linear regression pattern. 

[chaotic neutral observer]

Welcome to principiadiscordia.com, where mean is normal, and deviation standard.

(I plagiarized that from fortune-mod.  Not sure where they got it from.)

[altered]

I'm fucking disappointed. I am off work and there's no GODDAMN BABOONERY!

Where's my inflamed ass! I was promised more inflammation and bigger asses, and here I am with yesterday's stale hemorrhoids! This is a fucking OUTRAGE!

[Fujikoma]

*screeches and hurls dung*

[LMNO]

Sorry, what was that about big asses?


Because, you know like, damn.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Has he given up already?  I was hoping he was good for another couple rounds. 
So much for him lasting a year.  He did seem to be on a once-a-day posting cycle, so I suppose it's possible he just skipped a day?


I'll dump the ammunition I was saving up, so I don't leave it stuck in my head and presenting a hazard:

Someone who uses an appeal to their authority as a mathematician to justify why they don't understand statistics doesn't come around every day.  At least, when I call something voodoo, it's because it's arbitrary, and meaningless, and I don't understand it.  A real Discordian would recognize that statistics is just another grid we superimpose on Chaos.  You need to pick the appropriate grid for the situation, but that's true of all grids.

When I tell my co-workers "We need a voodoo priest on staff", they understand that I mean "that thing that just happened was weird and scary and it didn't make any sense and I wish someone would make it go away."  And maybe I get a laugh or two.

But we don't have the budget to hire a proper priest, so I get the hatchet, Clive gets a goat, and we all put on blood-splatter-resistant ponchos and do what needs to be done.

...well, it's actually a spectrum analyzer or oscilloscope, not a hatchet, and we use ESD smocks instead of ponchos, but the rest of it is real.

[altered]

I would like to apologize to LMNO. I had A Night of some sort last night, and my anger at insufficient baboonery was apparently the start of a rampage that, at latest count, seems to have affected 5 Discord servers, 3 text message convos, and at least 3 threads here.

I still want to know what happened, all I remember is a grin like a knife fixed in my mind's eye, and ... then I wake up and there's a mess spewed all over the place and I'm surprised I didn't get banned or something. From somewhere else, I mean.

[LMNO]

I'm just here to assess the asses.



I'm kind of a fan.

[Doktor Howl]

It's not every day that we have a double-PhD kick the doors in.     <--- proper use of party hat emote.

Back in MY day, Poptard worked his trolls.  We had asses flying all over the place, big and red and horribly stained.

We had to roofie LMNO up until his trip to Montana, on account of the asses making him blurt arcane financial formula all willy-nilly which corrupted the noobs and made them bleed from every orifice.

[The Johnny]

Trolls died out, this is the era of assburgers