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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Dad Joke of The Day

Started by Norman, August 31, 2019, 04:17:32 PM

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Norman

August 31, 2019, 04:17:32 PM
I've started investing in stocks.
Mostly beef and chicken right now.
I'm hoping someday to be a bouillonaire.

The Johnny

#1
September 01, 2019, 10:23:27 AM

This is the real reason why you got banned.  :lulz:
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

Juana

#2
September 02, 2019, 02:27:51 AM
Quote from: The Johnny on September 01, 2019, 10:23:27 AM

This is the real reason why you got banned.  :lulz:
TRUTH
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Fujikoma

#3
September 15, 2019, 08:40:02 PM
Is that really the meat of the matter? Sounds like someone had some serious beef.

The Johnny

#4
September 16, 2019, 03:48:21 AM
Quote from: Fujikoma on September 15, 2019, 08:40:02 PM
Is that really the meat of the matter? Sounds like someone had some serious beef.

You are allowed to do one pun per year.

Second pun gets you dragged to the backyard, shot, and thrown into an unmarked common grave.

No exceptions.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

altered

#5
September 16, 2019, 06:12:51 AM
It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Fujikoma

#6
September 16, 2019, 06:13:38 AM
Ok, so that allows me a lot more puns. I will use them wisely.

EDIT: Oh heaven's NO! The CHILDREN! First the deadly vaping epidemic, and now this!

The Johnny

#7
September 16, 2019, 08:31:17 AM
Quote from: nullified on September 16, 2019, 06:12:51 AM
It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.

It's like how to kill a mockingbird is a sin, but to shoot a rabid dog is indeed doing everyone a favour, including the dog.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

Fujikoma

#8
September 16, 2019, 10:14:48 AM
Quote from: The Johnny on September 16, 2019, 08:31:17 AM
Quote from: nullified on September 16, 2019, 06:12:51 AM
It's worth noting that you CAN save up your puns and spend them later, and you can even borrow against future puns.

But RWHN, you see, had spent several human lifetimes worth of puns. Per month. It was kind of like an addiction, you know, like gambling or video games. And he didn't know how to quit.

So we had to make him. For his own good, and for the children.

It's like how to kill a mockingbird is a sin, but to shoot a rabid dog is indeed doing everyone a favour, including the dog.

Ever been attacked by mockingbirds? Those things are bastards.
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