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What Happens When a Discordian Runs for Office

Started by Q. G. Pennyworth, October 04, 2019, 05:10:44 PM

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Q. G. Pennyworth

We're closing in on a month to do, so I thought I would provide you all with some updates.

1) Nobody gets the apple. This makes me so happy you don't even know.
2) I have learned how to make people I don't like do emotional labor for me. This is a beautiful thing.
3) People I don't know know my name. This is deeply uncomfortable for someone who spent a long time going almost exclusively by aliases, but I'm dealing with it.
4) Accidentally dropping the Candidate Mask in the right crowd wins you friends and potentially votes. Gotta read the room.
5) I am not above accepting votes from folks letting their boners decide.
6) An old woman told me how enthusiastic she was that they will be lowering the voting age to 18. She is my best bet for getting any votes in her senior housing facility, which is also a polling location.
7) Smiling with too many teeth is now my default setting.

altered

Nobody gets the apple took me a minute to parse. I thought you meant like you had apples and weren't giving them to anyone and were perversely pleased that no one got the apples but you and I fucking cracked.

In my defense I just woke up.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

I think you're going to do very well in politics.

That's not an insult, by the way.  Being skilled at politics is merely being skilled at controlling your environment.  What someone does with that skill dictates the morality.

And with you, I'm not worried at all.
Molon Lube

LMNO

Number three has been a disconcerting thing for quite a large portion of my life.  I often think people don't notice me, and then strangers call me by name, and I'm all, "have we met?" ::backs up nervously::

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 04, 2019, 06:45:06 PM
I think you're going to do very well in politics.

That's not an insult, by the way.  Being skilled at politics is merely being skilled at controlling your environment.  What someone does with that skill dictates the morality.

And with you, I'm not worried at all.

This is the most distressing praise I've gotten all year. Thank you.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 04, 2019, 07:31:26 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 04, 2019, 06:45:06 PM
I think you're going to do very well in politics.

That's not an insult, by the way.  Being skilled at politics is merely being skilled at controlling your environment.  What someone does with that skill dictates the morality.

And with you, I'm not worried at all.

This is the most distressing praise I've gotten all year. Thank you.

People keep saying that.   :lol:
Molon Lube

Cramulus

I am so excited for you to be drunk with power, unlimited power

Al Qədic

Real glad to hear everything's slotting nicely into place, QGP! Definitely a pleasant surprise to know that, with the possible exception of point 3, things have been going pretty smoothly overall.
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

Junkenstein

Do you plan to abuse any given powers immediately or are you going to wait a few months?

Voter's need to know such things.

Seriously, any details re policy/plans you can share? Way out of the loop here.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Johnny

Quote from: Junkenstein on October 06, 2019, 07:09:56 PM
Do you plan to abuse any given powers immediately or are you going to wait a few months?

Voter's need to know such things.

Seriously, any details re policy/plans you can share? Way out of the loop here.

1. A ban on all hot dogs (to appease global warming).
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Junkenstein on October 06, 2019, 07:09:56 PM
Do you plan to abuse any given powers immediately or are you going to wait a few months?

Voter's need to know such things.

Seriously, any details re policy/plans you can share? Way out of the loop here.

I'm running for School Committee (School Board in some other states) so the power is extremely limited. I plan on pushing for better civics education, more Black History Month curriculum, new policies to address bullying, implementing as many of the changes as possible that were put forward by our local Anti-Racism group, continuing to push for better communication with parents, and elevating student-led initiatives wherever possible. We also need to do something about evening out the resources across our K-8 schools so every kid gets a good start, not just the ones who got into the schools with the funding and aggressive PTOs.