Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Congress, but still refusing to testify

[Juana]

I knew you could mail ladybugs but not the rest of that. Hmm

[The Johnny]

I paid a company a month ago to mail my best friend a potato and it arrived yesterday. His confusion is worth every penny.

On a brighter note:

Did you know you can just send a box of flies to someone? Like live flies in a box. You can literally just fill a box with flies. And mail it to someone.

This is legal. It's also surprisingly cheap, and while flies don't live long, you're looking at 12 to 14 dollars to priority mail this sucker to your "pal" across the country, plenty of time for them to burst out of the box like a cloud of anxiety and carpet the room in buzzing hairy insects.

Other completely legal things to send: Pizza, half eaten. Urine. 10000 pieces of cardboard carefully snipped out in the shape of microSD cards, painted appropriately, and with foil taped to them as "contacts". Preserved goat parts. Human remains (seriously). Letters addressed to nonexistent individuals (make sure there is a good reason for your target to not return to sender). Centipedes, the normal sized kind. Centipedes, the scary sized kind.

There is a very short list of what you cannot send in the mail, and it is not vague at /all/. I have had plans to make use of this information for awhile but can find neither the time nor the effort.

And you didnt even mention the worst thing to send right after Ant-hrax...

A box with a spring mechanism full of GLITTER.

[Cain]

For the more religiously conservative, you can also get Koran's delivered. For free.

[Cramulus]

Much like the value of currency, I suspect the underpinning of cyrptocurrencies is people's faith in them.

And if that's true, then maybe what crypto represents is that anything can be regarded as money as long as its predicated on something incomprehensible



Which is why I'm developing a currency based on republican impeachment defense




I'll be here all night, folks.
Thank you. Thank you.  You're too kind.

[Cain]

The other trick is to artifically limit them, so percieved value is built-in, regardless of how much that value actually relates to material worth.

It's like stamp collecting, only they're not legal stamps.

[Cramulus]

and that's how the economy of the 2020s became based on Yu-Gi-Oh cards

[Cain]

It's a new paradigm, and everybody who doesn't buy, now, will be priced out forever. Anybody who does buy will be rewarded with a lifetime of riches, as their Yu-Gi-Oh cards will continue its 30% yearly price increase.

Renters, and anybody born in a future generation, will not be able to afford a $15,000,000 starter Yu-Gi-Oh card pack in 15 years. They will live in tent cities, and Hondas.

This asset bubble is different than all of the others - it will never slow down, or pop. The gains are permanent.

[Doktor Howl]

I paid a company a month ago to mail my best friend a potato and it arrived yesterday. His confusion is worth every penny.

I remember mailing Richter an anvil.  "If it fits, it ships, eh? Choke on this, you bastards!"

[chaotic neutral observer]

Much like the value of currency, I suspect the underpinning of cyrptocurrencies is people's faith in them.

The value of conventional currency isn't entirely based on faith, though.  There's also the fact that your government requires taxes to be paid in that currency, and the government controls the guys with the tanks and guns.

The bitcoin guys can't afford an army; all their capital is tied up in mining rigs.

[Cain]

Please don't give Facebook more ideas.

[Juana]

I paid a company a month ago to mail my best friend a potato and it arrived yesterday. His confusion is worth every penny.

I remember mailing Richter an anvil.  "If it fits, it ships, eh? Choke on this, you bastards!"

Lmao, Jesus fuck, I bet he was confused

[Doktor Howl]

I paid a company a month ago to mail my best friend a potato and it arrived yesterday. His confusion is worth every penny.

I remember mailing Richter an anvil.  "If it fits, it ships, eh? Choke on this, you bastards!"

Lmao, Jesus fuck, I bet he was confused

It was Richter.  He just started hammering away.  He is a simple man, and does not question WHY he has an anvil, just who he can throw it at.

[altered]

I want an anvil too.

After I have a permanent address, of course.

I will make you a tool fit for a Doktor.

[Doktor Howl]

I want an anvil too.

After I have a permanent address, of course.

I will make you a tool fit for a Doktor.

I am already a tool AND a Doktor.

[altered]

I want an anvil too.

After I have a permanent address, of course.

I will make you a tool fit for a Doktor.

I am already a tool AND a Doktor.

But do you have a menacing widget that looks like a Victorian surgical device, an Elizabethan torture device, and an H R Giger sculpture all at the SAME TIME? Can you BRANDISH IT at the small beasts you are furious with?

This is why I need an anvil one day.