Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Congress, but still refusing to testify

[altered]

Fortunately for me, I'll be working again before January is over.

I wouldn't have quit without a good reason. Company stupidity is an opportunity, not a reason to quit. Homelessness with a location lined up elsewhere that gets me a replacement job as a certainty and housing as an extremely strong possible is a reason to quit, period.

And make no mistake, this job is a certainty. I have two referrals from current workers there (they rate those very highly) and my resume, spotty though it is, says that I will be a credit to any company I work for.

[Faust]

I would kill to have more of January off, enjoy every delicious minute of it.

[altered]

I just got news. The fix is in, I have this job in the bag.

The hiring manager who got my application apparently likes my application so much he has removed it from the general queue for special treatment. (As in it is being processed early.) My friend who referred me is being given the good nods.

It was not stated directly, but the impression I got is that there were arguments about who got to take credit for bringing me on board, and this hiring manager cut the Gordian knot by taking it without discussion or preamble while everyone else bickered.

Chicago is scary, man.

[The Johnny]

Ok, so I've been "in a relationship" with this woman for about 6 weeks... but idk if im just paranoid and I should be more patient or emphatic, or I'm being played like a fiddle.

Recap: Some months ago i ended a long distance relationship of like 5 years, and this other woman seeked me out once again (which she has done intermittently for 12 years, since last time we werer bf/gf, out of which 7 of those I had lived in a different city). She also has been single for 3.5 years, after her last partner physically/psychologycally abused her (she still cried when she told me this, and she even underwent surgery for sterilization in relation to it. Also, shes extremely introverted.)

Anyhow, last i saw her was 11 days ago, when she finally didnt have a reason or excuse to not go out, we went to some party, but she didnt like the people nor the noise, so she asked us to move elsewhere and we ended up in a hotel and all that... she even asked to not use protection, to make it more intimate.

But before that I hadnt seen her in like a month, and this past weekend she cancelled on me, just like other weekends... we text a lot during the day if i initiate, but one period i got really busy for 5 days and she didnt message me once.

But then again: she's extremely introverted, shes been in several abusive relationships, she works around 55 hours a week in a high-end parking lot booth (she does make about 2.5x what a "normal" salary is)... i think her mother is sick, her stepdad died like a year ago, and her teenage sister is a bit off the rails.

Also, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, I asked her if she was seeing someone else, and that I wouldn't mind it, but that we needed to be on the same page and clear about it from the start, and she did agree on being monogamous... I mean, how cynical would one have to be to cheat despite given the option of an open relationship? (Edit to add: besides, shes very pretty, and being of germanic descent in a Malinchist country such as Mexico, and attending a booth where strangers hit on her frequently, why would she bother with me in the first place... I mean, im not the pick of the litter and im just an over-educated middle class person)

So idk, on paper it makes sense for her to not pay as much attention to me cause a lot is on her plate... but on the other hand i still feel like im being played, i usually distrust more than trust in general.

[altered]

I forget to tell my best friends on this planet that I'm still alive for a month. (Hi QGP!) Assume good intentions.

But if you personally cannot deal with that kind of distance without being a bit worried, bring it up to her. It could be this thing was not going to work out from the start, or it could be a temporary state. Either way, you guys need to discuss it.

Doesn't need to be a big deal, but if you can't handle the distance and she needs it, I'd say cut it off. That sort of tension never ends happily without consequences.

If this current state is not what either of you want, try to tough it out, but keep communication open about how it's affecting you. Make a distinction between "same as it was" "better than it was" and "worse than it was" when talking about that, because if it's been consistently low-grade bad it's more important to talk about the consistency and low grade than the bad.

This is a socially crippled person giving you advice from my perspective. This therefore may or may not apply to you, but I feel these are good rules in general, for anyone, in any relationship (from acquaintances up to life partners).

[LMNO]

Also, use a goddamn condom.

[Cramulus]

Don't get yourself all fucked up with these two snakes:

-This makes me feel bad, but
-That's just how she is

Also, use a goddamn condom.

SERIOUSLY
you say "i usually distrust more than trust", but not using a condom tells another story

[Doktor Howl]

Ok, so I've been "in a relationship" with this woman for about 6 weeks... but idk if im just paranoid and I should be more patient or emphatic, or I'm being played like a fiddle.

Recap: Some months ago i ended a long distance relationship of like 5 years, and this other woman seeked me out once again (which she has done intermittently for 12 years, since last time we werer bf/gf, out of which 7 of those I had lived in a different city). She also has been single for 3.5 years, after her last partner physically/psychologycally abused her (she still cried when she told me this, and she even underwent surgery for sterilization in relation to it. Also, shes extremely introverted.)

Anyhow, last i saw her was 11 days ago, when she finally didnt have a reason or excuse to not go out, we went to some party, but she didnt like the people nor the noise, so she asked us to move elsewhere and we ended up in a hotel and all that... she even asked to not use protection, to make it more intimate.

But before that I hadnt seen her in like a month, and this past weekend she cancelled on me, just like other weekends... we text a lot during the day if i initiate, but one period i got really busy for 5 days and she didnt message me once.

But then again: she's extremely introverted, shes been in several abusive relationships, she works around 55 hours a week in a high-end parking lot booth (she does make about 2.5x what a "normal" salary is)... i think her mother is sick, her stepdad died like a year ago, and her teenage sister is a bit off the rails.

Also, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, I asked her if she was seeing someone else, and that I wouldn't mind it, but that we needed to be on the same page and clear about it from the start, and she did agree on being monogamous... I mean, how cynical would one have to be to cheat despite given the option of an open relationship? (Edit to add: besides, shes very pretty, and being of germanic descent in a Malinchist country such as Mexico, and attending a booth where strangers hit on her frequently, why would she bother with me in the first place... I mean, im not the pick of the litter and im just an over-educated middle class person)

So idk, on paper it makes sense for her to not pay as much attention to me cause a lot is on her plate... but on the other hand i still feel like im being played, i usually distrust more than trust in general.

Sometimes you just gotta take a chance.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Just so you all know, I have not had much to say, and working a lot of overtime, but I have been lurking faithfully and keeping up with the threads as best I can. There's so much going on personally and globally that I don't know what all to say.  So I'm just saying "Hi, I'm still here."

Also I might add,  "We are all fucked." but you almost certainly know that already.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Ok, so I've been "in a relationship" with this woman for about 6 weeks... but idk if im just paranoid and I should be more patient or emphatic, or I'm being played like a fiddle.

Recap: Some months ago i ended a long distance relationship of like 5 years, and this other woman seeked me out once again (which she has done intermittently for 12 years, since last time we werer bf/gf, out of which 7 of those I had lived in a different city). She also has been single for 3.5 years, after her last partner physically/psychologycally abused her (she still cried when she told me this, and she even underwent surgery for sterilization in relation to it. Also, shes extremely introverted.)

Anyhow, last i saw her was 11 days ago, when she finally didnt have a reason or excuse to not go out, we went to some party, but she didnt like the people nor the noise, so she asked us to move elsewhere and we ended up in a hotel and all that... she even asked to not use protection, to make it more intimate.

But before that I hadnt seen her in like a month, and this past weekend she cancelled on me, just like other weekends... we text a lot during the day if i initiate, but one period i got really busy for 5 days and she didnt message me once.

But then again: she's extremely introverted, shes been in several abusive relationships, she works around 55 hours a week in a high-end parking lot booth (she does make about 2.5x what a "normal" salary is)... i think her mother is sick, her stepdad died like a year ago, and her teenage sister is a bit off the rails.

Also, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, I asked her if she was seeing someone else, and that I wouldn't mind it, but that we needed to be on the same page and clear about it from the start, and she did agree on being monogamous... I mean, how cynical would one have to be to cheat despite given the option of an open relationship? (Edit to add: besides, shes very pretty, and being of germanic descent in a Malinchist country such as Mexico, and attending a booth where strangers hit on her frequently, why would she bother with me in the first place... I mean, im not the pick of the litter and im just an over-educated middle class person)

So idk, on paper it makes sense for her to not pay as much attention to me cause a lot is on her plate... but on the other hand i still feel like im being played, i usually distrust more than trust in general.

I feel like if there's legitimate interest in you and a stated willingness for an exclusive relationship, you should try to just take her at her word. I wouldn't be worried that the distance she keeps between you is necessarily because she's involved with someone else -- if her relationships have been abusive, it may just be that she genuinely needs this relationship to exist solely on her terms, at least for now. If you can handle the space, let her have it. Let your relationship feel tentative and let it move as slowly or as quickly as she decides to move it, even if it seems to go back and forth. I really think the most dangerous thing (to your relationship) would be to make her feel like she owes you her attention. If that is asking to much of you, be up front with her about it.

[The Johnny]

@altered: Yeah, like, I think I can handle the distance, my main issue was making sense out of it, and typing it out and expressing it and seeing the replies helped a lot with that. It's obviously not the closeness i want in the long term, but I think I can wait to see how it develops for some months. A year ago and before I was just being an ethical slut until it became unfulfilling, so I dont mind trying something new for a change.

@LMNO, Cram: I normally use protection and I know I should, and it came more out of a show of commitment rather than born out of trusting like you interpreted. This is the 2nd time I do it in my entire life without it, 1st time was 16 years ago when i was dumb (im still dumb but in a different way). I know STDs are a thing and a risk, but I wouldnt had done it with some random girl from Tinder or whatever. Pregnancy isnt an issue, subject has come up over the years and neither wants descendancy, and shes got her tubes cut and this 2.5inch horizontal scar to prove it.

@Dok: Yeah, its complicated, but I know id kick myself in the future if i didnt try now, whatever the outcome.

@Vex: Yeah, overall i try to give her some space, and thats like the gist of the whole thing, since part of the abuse she went thru was about control of her time, outings and people she communicated with.

[Juana]

There's an awful lot of games of thrones-ing at my work for it being a middle school.

[The Johnny]

Now that I'm actually inspecting closely Wagner's "The Ring of the Nibelung Cycle" and examining the 3rd Act of The Valkyrie... what a fucking shitlord Coppola is with what he did with "Apocalypse Now" which is a tell-tale sign of american culture.

"The Ride of the Valkyries" is originally about, Wotan's valkyries recruiting worthy warriors that have fallen, to protect Valhalla from power-hungry Alberich.... meanwhile in the film, it's used as music to glorify and make slaughtering villagers seem/feel as something heroic.

[Doktor Howl]

Now that I'm actually inspecting closely Wagner's "The Ring of the Nibelung Cycle" and examining the 3rd Act of The Valkyrie... what a fucking shitlord Coppola is with what he did with "Apocalypse Now" which is a tell-tale sign of american culture.

"The Ride of the Valkyries" is originally about, Wotan's valkyries recruiting worthy warriors that have fallen, to protect Valhalla from power-hungry Alberich.... meanwhile in the film, it's used as music to glorify and make slaughtering villagers seem/feel as something heroic.

Is that what you took from that scene?

[Cain]

Yeah, I have to ask the same

Are you aware of Wagner's politics and the role his own music had in the volkisch renaissance under Hitler?