Introducing the Anti Social Network

[Baltshazzar the Unhinged]

OK. This is last to be said for ASN COMMUNICATIONS. Fuck those guys. It goes like this...

So the group nominates me to drop you a link, knowing that I can't help but engage. The person in this mob with the least online communication skills of all, comes to Discordia and the rest of the crew have a grouse laugh at my expense. Fuuk social experiments (that was for lack of a better term Vex!), I hope no one thought they were the subject of a social experiment. I was the subject. Some of you may have got a laugh on me but not like Name Pending and Don't know as I type this. Really, fuck them. To let you in on the gag, I have refuted social networking and smartphones forever, I am a stick in the mud in that sense, but I'm always trying something new. I love to learn. Last week I built my first (admittedly shoddy) website. I won't say how old I am - just old enough to be bitter and jaded for fuuk's sake. Yesterday's challenge was to introduce ASN to a message board and respond to all criticism and questions. I failed triumphantly... though from an anti social-network perspective it was a tremendous success. So fuck them. I hereby renounce my membership to the ASN.
So fuuk the ASN. I'll take the logo off (don't even remember putting it there!) Discordians are not necessarily Anti Social, nor are all of our network Discordians. It's actually a relatively small section of us who are massively influenced by the Principia and all Discordian works up to the 2023 Trilogy - which we are sorta sad to hear that the book ain't got much love from anyone on this site?!? This experience actually reminds me of going to a screening of Why did the K-Foundation burn a million pounds at an "Anarchist" club. I figured, surely these people know of Discordia, shit, Robert Anton Wilson had introduced Eris to his Anarchist movement of the day. If these guys in 2017 were unaware of Eris, I may gently nudge them toward the Principia... Well the shitstorm it caused. And they too, thought I was working for one of the local right-wing nationalist groups in my area - just for saying 'hey you may or may not be down with this shit'. They thought I was there to sew Discord and suggested I should not return... sound familiar? Gotta love a good synchronicity!!
Reading my first post, now that I've taken my Benzos (thanks for reminding me to take my meds Doktor (whoa, I did not intend that pun but don't dare pardon it)), I can see it's a bit shilly. For fuuk's sake man, get it together. People's first impression of the ASN is a lack of creativity and way too much enthusiasm. Well that's what I'm seeing now that I'm an observer. Well played Eris. Well played. Oh and this is not self-defeatist mode. What we are, in the ASN, is self-deprecating til the cows come home. But to be fair, it is a fair Aussie thing to self-deprecate, perhaps it's even a Colonial thing. I only mention it because I think a lot is lost in translation due to this paradigm.
So yeah, I won't engage as an ASN member here again, but the people on this side of the keyboard here have all learnt about themselves. This experience has taught us much. And we hope you see the paradox in an Anti Social-Network coming to a message board which, granted, is not F@cey or !nsta but it's fair to say that people on this forum share some sort of regular interaction with each other. This was as far as I would let them send me. To go on F@ceb**k is like Anathema to me (shudders). So ASN thanks the people of this forum. You can think it's a con all you like but like I told Altered, we are anti social in the sense that we don't socialise much, not in the sense of actively working against society. It's not for everybody.

Fact is, We've dealt with far too many suicides, and the common denominator is most often loneliness and isolation (in our collective experience). Do you know how hard it is to convince people to engage with the world once they're past the point of no return? I'm sure most people do know, and apologies if discussing it is painful for others. ASN has been adopted by many who just need to know they're not alone in being alone. We never realised it til now, but I guess we, in the inner sanctum at least, are something of a support group for each other. So if you really need to squeeze meaning out of this movement, there it is. It's not our thing to get that deep but I feel that's not something anyone should be confused about. And there is a shared (but not universal) disdain for the psychology that drives humans to post/like/comment/share/repeat. And perhaps telling a message board that sort of thing could be seen as an attack on your psyche. This could not be further from our intent.

I'll say this though, I enjoy the banter around here. So if I cease advocating the Church of the ASN, I would very much like to hang around and, heaven forbid, maybe interact in cyberspace. If I've met any folk online that are worth a bunch of keystrokes it's the people I've encountered in the past 24 even if it wasn't without its confusion... wait, hold up.

Oh and while I think of it Vex, please may I use this on the website? I know you probably meant the opposite but no, "one of the things we're NOT selling is the illusion of being able to help the world in any meaningful way". Our egos don't support the ability to help the world in a truly meaningful way (well actually, a couple of us actually do, but that's their individual crusades) so we do not sell that illusion. Oh we can try, but things never go as planned so it's safer to just change what we can when we can, and that's usually ourselves because I am the only person I have authority over. Besides, who the fuuk are we to decide what 'help' this world needs? There's a lady sitting next to me who thinks she knows. There's a bloke a suburb away from me who has a definite plan too. I won't shit on anyone's idealism - I envy it! Onya too, if you think you have the answers. I'd like to hear them some time. Not on this thread though. This thread was a mistake... I was meant to slime my way around the forums for a year, making connections with other users and then bring the concept to you when I'd earned your trust... But that sounds too much like social networking – and even more like shilling.

The final word from the ASN is this:
ASN actually stands for nothing. It was just easier that way when several people of varying degrees of Discordian influence gathered in one room for 24 hours with a pile of substance and flying through concepts. You sorta had to be there. At any rate, when artistic types get together and are bored shitless, Another Silly Notion is born. No one really knows how it started, at this point we don't know where we're going but we're pretty sure we'll know exactly where we're going when we get there. Alright Stop Now. Peace

[Baltshazzar the Unhinged]

Yes Doktor very much worth mentioning. I'll research further. And excuse my lack of ability to do that thing people do with the quotes. Yep.

[Baltshazzar the Unhinged]

Hi BattleshartzR, I love the website

it's REFRESHING to see a bunch of us getting together in a physical space and making a disgusting mess of things

These days, my cabal is all spread out, decentralized, we rarely meet in person except for at my annual MOOSEMAS party - so I'm just glad that the Discordian Society is still out there, way out there, in person.

I extremely like your proposal of rejecting the social network, favoring more direct and less aggregated forms of communication. For a while, I've been daydreaming about cabals that exchange snail mail - because communications that you experience in the physical 3D meat world have a different quality than words exchanged online. We could have a different conversation via snail mail than we could via e-mail. And maybe cabals need to adopt this protocol - to send physical texts, physical art, let our exchanges become a living collage, an electric current.

Can I help in any way? I could mail you cats some absurd posters to put up?

Favourite so far,

BAGPIPE AND ACCORDIAN BAND SEEKS CHOIR
OF GIBBERING GOBLINS. CONTACT ERIS AT
PRINCIPIADISCORDIA

And hey, cabals should be able to transcend reality if they want to. We do our thing in the meat world, as you put it. No one is knocking the kind of exchange of ideas going on here. I think it's safe to say a message board is a far different culture to the likes of F@cey etc.

[Doktor Howl]

diaphragmical

I'm so alone.   

[Cramulus]

So the group nominates me to drop you a link, knowing that I can't help but engage. The person in this mob with the least online communication skills of all, comes to Discordia and the rest of the crew have a grouse laugh at my expense. Fuuk social experiments (that was for lack of a better term Vex!), I hope no one thought they were the subject of a social experiment. I was the subject.

I figured
tell lys we said hi

[Doktor Howl]

So the group nominates me to drop you a link, knowing that I can't help but engage. The person in this mob with the least online communication skills of all, comes to Discordia and the rest of the crew have a grouse laugh at my expense.

You have friends like I have friends. 

[Doktor Howl]

So the group nominates me to drop you a link, knowing that I can't help but engage. The person in this mob with the least online communication skills of all, comes to Discordia and the rest of the crew have a grouse laugh at my expense. Fuuk social experiments (that was for lack of a better term Vex!), I hope no one thought they were the subject of a social experiment. I was the subject.

I figured
tell lys we said hi

Oh, you're fucking kidding me. 

[Baltshazzar the Unhinged]

Born alone and die alone. Try to have fun in between.

The ASN have now left the building. And it's time for this guy to have his diazepam and keep cycling through these posters.

Yeah, I sorta realised what what going on half way through. The whole time figuring people on here were fucking with me when it was the people beside me. Like a wiser person once told me "Everyone wants Discordia til they find it" or something along those lines. I'm having way too much fun though, so rather than blither on about the Alien Sex Nectar or whoever they are today, I will catch you fine and wretched Discordian folk alike around the other forums.

Now if you don't mind I have three households who need all of their cutlery misplaced in the middle of the night.

[Cramulus]

well anyway, you seem like an upstanding discordian - I hope you stick around

[Doktor Howl]

Born alone and die alone. Try to have fun in between.

The ASN have now left the building. And it's time for this guy to have his diazepam and keep cycling through these posters.

Yeah, I sorta realised what what going on half way through. The whole time figuring people on here were fucking with me when it was the people beside me. Like a wiser person once told me "Everyone wants Discordia til they find it" or something along those lines. I'm having way too much fun though, so rather than blither on about the Alien Sex Nectar or whoever they are today, I will catch you fine and wretched Discordian folk alike around the other forums.

Now if you don't mind I have three households who need all of their cutlery misplaced in the middle of the night.

Yeah, you were basically set up.  And not just to fuck with you.

You were weaponized.

If it were me, payback would be on the way.  But I am a vicious old man who never really adjusted to this kinder, gentler time.

[Baltshazzar the Unhinged]

To be fair Doktor, I was probably in on the planning to set me up, and then forgot about it, or conveniently ignored it. Nonetheless, I'm not too old to get at them for exploiting my fucking horrible lapse of judgement. I'm a very basic man though Doktor, I'll dream up something creative.

well anyway, you seem like an upstanding discordian - I hope you stick around

um I've been warned against joining any group that would have me as a member... but what the hey I've already self-sabotaged once in the past 24 hours.

[Doktor Howl]

To be fair Doktor, I was probably in on the planning to set me up, and then forgot about it, or conveniently ignored it. Nonetheless, I'm not too old to get at them for exploiting my fucking horrible lapse of judgement. I'm a very basic man though Doktor, I'll dream up something creative.

I am not a fan of Felix/Lys, so don't hold back on my account.

[altered]

Honestly, that warning doesn't really apply here. That phrase, "don't join any group who wants you," is more of a "cult vaccine" than anything: either you're vulnerable to manipulation or you've got a history that makes you unpalatable, and either way most groups who are into that sort of thing are as welcome as scabies.

We, on the other hand, just appreciate bipedality. That is to say, the ability to say "I'm wrong" and course correct. You've demonstrated it DESPITE our misinterpreting your bedtime as butthurt ball-taking. I've seen regulars light a rectal blowtorch in response to that sort of thing, even knowing they were going to get tarred with that brush beforehand. So, not exactly easy mode.

So you're welcome here, in my book: not a total dipshit, and not down to show off inflamed ass at the slightest hint of confrontation. Good shit, good shit, and all too rare.

On the flip side, you'll find that we always assume the worst of everyone because it's always the most hilarious option. In other words: you aren't a "member" of any group here because we will absolutely turn and cannibalize the fuck out of anyone at the drop of a hat. It's practically a law of PeeDee physics. No one is safe.

Unlike cults, who make it both tough to get in and tough to leave, we're just tough to be around at all. Much like the guy on public transit who smells like a ripe corpse and begs you for a cigarette but doesn't have the energy to get annoying about it.

[Faust]

You menition a member in Melbourne and the others mention lys/felix, would that be him?
He totally set you up.

Tell him we were super nice to you, welcoming, and that if lys ever shows up again we are going to feed him to a wood chipper

[Doktor Howl]

You menition a member in Melbourne and the others mention lys/felix, would that be him?
He totally set you up.

Tell him we were super nice to you, welcoming, and that if lys ever shows up again we are going to feed him to a wood chipper

Yes, this.  Feet first.

Otherwise it's a terrible mess.