Author Topic: a petition  (Read 2039 times)

tyrannosaurus vex

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a petition
« on: April 06, 2020, 04:21:49 pm »
the world is awful and nothing makes any sense anymore including questions of life and death, so i am requesting ideas for discordian chaos magic rituals that could resurrect TGRR because we need his guidance in this trying time.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.


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Re: a petition
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2020, 04:23:54 pm »
Recover the body parts from the various quarries we buried him in and sit him in front of fox and friends until he reanimates
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Doktor Howl

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Re: a petition
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2020, 04:27:00 pm »
I welded the bastard's coffin shut, so the most you will get is thumping noises and muffled whinging.

Molon Lube

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Re: a petition
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2020, 04:37:40 pm »
I took the precaution of putting his head in a black granite ossuary sealed in lead by the power of Saturn and dropped it in the ocean somewhere deeper than science yet dares to tread, but I'm not sure that will hold The Last Prophet down for long.
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Re: a petition
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2020, 04:43:13 pm »
Gotta be honest guys, I keep finding back hair and the stink of spite in the weirdest places. I don’t know if you got all of him.
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Re: a petition
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2020, 06:00:38 pm »
Request denied for not following the proper formatting.

You should have said:


Something about having to prep ourselfs from necromantically raised TGRRs which will use our own rants against us




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Re: a petition
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2020, 06:17:52 pm »
Cain is correct. Consequently, your pention has been denied.

a better place to leave it is under the porn in the legislator's office

Eater of Clowns

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Re: a petition
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2020, 03:43:24 pm »
TGRRs poomp is inmate to the structure of his existence. We staked his tongue with an iron nail. We bound his thumbs in Canadian rebar from Remington's sculpture. But we could not stop the generation of poomp.

At this point it's accumulated beyond the capacity of his coffin and collapsed in on itself. It has engulfed his remains and the resulting mixture is a hate poomp measurable only in megatons. Opening the container would be a near cataclysmic event, with the shit tornadoes potentially triggering the North American supervolcano.

What I'm saying is, we need Junkensteins crowbar.
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