Author Topic: THIS IS NOT A DRILL  (Read 1763 times)

altered

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THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« on: April 10, 2020, 02:46:09 pm »


SINKHOLE OR BURIAL SITE? BIG HOLE IN DESERT WEST OF TUCSON

On Thursday, April 9th 2020, a passing driver recognized something was wrong with the desert landscape on his way to work. “It loomed, except, you know, it was a hole in the ground. But it had that feeling.”

The 32-year-old veterinary technician, who asked us not to print his name for legal reasons, stopped his vehicle on the side of the highway to look at the hole. What he found was unsettling.

“There was just this big wooden box down there with chains around it, but not like ‘holding it closed’ around it, just sort of in a circle. The box was half flopped open, splinters like someone had kicked the shit out of it, totally empty. And there were some wicked big boot prints. Serious stompers.”

While there have been many well-publicized disappearances and claims of being followed or stalked on this stretch of State Route 86, this is the first evidence to date of criminal activity beyond the norm for the area.

Police are currently treating this as a missing persons case. There are no further details at this time. If you have any knowledge regarding this sinkhole, or anywhere a veterinary technician can offload a few dozen pounds of ketamine, please contact the Tucson Police Department.

“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2020, 02:57:07 pm »
 :baby:

Wait... No. No that can't be. That CAN'T be.. That CAN'T BE!! :horrormirth: :fnord: :tinfoilhat:

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
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Doktor Howl

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2020, 03:07:56 pm »
I warned you fuckers.  QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT, I said.  But would you listen?
Molon Lube

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2020, 03:24:57 pm »
Of course that's not a drill. That's a well, actually.

 :regret:
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2020, 03:26:06 pm »
Of course that's not a drill. That's a well, actually.

 :regret:

That was bore-ish
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2020, 03:33:03 pm »
This is a dril


Cramulus

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2020, 03:34:59 pm »
I love how his avatar is getting gradually more lossy over time

altered

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2020, 07:57:26 pm »
I can’t believe only two of you recognize the importance here. I fainted right away after I posted this. This is serious business, and here you all are MAKING PUNS like some kind of RWHN.

This is a big deal. This is TGRR’s boots.

If you don’t get it, I can’t explain.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

altered

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“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

Frontside Back

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2020, 10:00:01 pm »
Why panic when you can accept the impending doom and make money by selling survival bunkers with air intake vents in flood zone.
"I want to be the Borg but I want to do it alone."

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2020, 11:26:30 pm »
Look, I've been to Tucson. Jephph asked why the mountains were glowing, I just told him it was all normal.

The time before that, TGRR showed me God's Toilet Bowl.
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"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2020, 11:36:44 pm »
Look, I've been to Tucson. Jephph asked why the mountains were glowing, I just told him it was all normal.

The time before that, TGRR showed me God's Toilet Bowl.

It is All Normal.

Anyone hear a thumping noise?
Molon Lube

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2020, 12:32:49 am »
I’m anxiously waiting for news. There’s been nothing related since that poor man covered in bootprints. I worry they might be waiting for victims.

Or worse, searching for the rest.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

minuspace

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Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2020, 03:32:53 am »
That even looks creepy from space.