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THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Started by altered, April 10, 2020, 02:46:09 PM

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altered



SINKHOLE OR BURIAL SITE? BIG HOLE IN DESERT WEST OF TUCSON

On Thursday, April 9th 2020, a passing driver recognized something was wrong with the desert landscape on his way to work. "It loomed, except, you know, it was a hole in the ground. But it had that feeling."

The 32-year-old veterinary technician, who asked us not to print his name for legal reasons, stopped his vehicle on the side of the highway to look at the hole. What he found was unsettling.

"There was just this big wooden box down there with chains around it, but not like 'holding it closed' around it, just sort of in a circle. The box was half flopped open, splinters like someone had kicked the shit out of it, totally empty. And there were some wicked big boot prints. Serious stompers."

While there have been many well-publicized disappearances and claims of being followed or stalked on this stretch of State Route 86, this is the first evidence to date of criminal activity beyond the norm for the area.

Police are currently treating this as a missing persons case. There are no further details at this time. If you have any knowledge regarding this sinkhole, or anywhere a veterinary technician can offload a few dozen pounds of ketamine, please contact the Tucson Police Department.

"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

The Wizard Joseph

 :baby:

Wait... No. No that can't be. That CAN'T be.. That CAN'T BE!! :horrormirth: :fnord: :tinfoilhat:

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Doktor Howl

I warned you fuckers.  QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT, I said.  But would you listen?
Molon Lube

Suu

Of course that's not a drill. That's a well, actually.

:regret:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Richter

Quote from: Suu on April 10, 2020, 03:24:57 PM
Of course that's not a drill. That's a well, actually.

:regret:

That was bore-ish
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Cain


Cramulus

I love how his avatar is getting gradually more lossy over time

altered

I can't believe only two of you recognize the importance here. I fainted right away after I posted this. This is serious business, and here you all are MAKING PUNS like some kind of RWHN.

This is a big deal. This is TGRR's boots.

If you don't get it, I can't explain.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

altered

"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Frontside Back

Why panic when you can accept the impending doom and make money by selling survival bunkers with air intake vents in flood zone.
"I want to be the Borg but I want to do it alone."

Suu

Look, I've been to Tucson. Jephph asked why the mountains were glowing, I just told him it was all normal.

The time before that, TGRR showed me God's Toilet Bowl.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Suu on April 10, 2020, 11:26:30 PM
Look, I've been to Tucson. Jephph asked why the mountains were glowing, I just told him it was all normal.

The time before that, TGRR showed me God's Toilet Bowl.

It is All Normal.

Anyone hear a thumping noise?
Molon Lube

altered

I'm anxiously waiting for news. There's been nothing related since that poor man covered in bootprints. I worry they might be waiting for victims.

Or worse, searching for the rest.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

minuspace

That even looks creepy from space.