They're All Already Fucking Dead

[The Wizard Joseph]

They're All Already Fucking Dead

It's sometimes hard dealing with reality. One of the nicer things about hypomania is the unreasonable, unreasoning OPTIMISM it grants. Yeah sure, people think you're twacked out on meth sometimes because you're speaking a mile a minute. You definitely DO suffer delusions, especially as the sleep deprivation stacks up. The drawbacks pale in comparison to the simple ability to KEEP TRYING in the face of adversity, and 4 weeks into lithium therapy that I otherwise would not trade for the world it has begun to grate on me. Terry Pratchett (PBUH) had a word for it, knurd, the opposite of drunk, a horrible lucidity.

Mostly in my lucidity these days I see death. I see lots of death. In a very real way I even see myself as dead, and fortunate to know it.

That nice guy that takes pictures and writes poetry?
Dead.

The sweet old lady that was kind enough to give you a piece of candy on the bus?
Dead.

The self absorbed asshole making 7 figures off of the backs of thousands of workers?
Dead as fuck.

Your family?
Yep.

Your friends, and THEIR friends.
Donesky.

Enough children to pile 50m tall?
You guessed it.

It might seem that this is about the current plague, and that's a factor, but there's more. There's so much fucking more. It will be more war in the streets. It will be jackboots and black bags in private residences. As folks drop off and infrastructure gives out it will be starvation and contamination. I see it coming because I am knurd, the opposite of drunk, and horribly lucid.

I felt it first when I read the material safety data sheet on the poison I and my beloved friends had been dosed with in February. Dead and scheduled for a slow lingering one at that. I feel like that moment when a mortal but not immediately fatal wound is struck in pitched battle. I continue, but the deal is done. I see this coming for more people than would seem plausible in the next decade(s). Worse because I am knurd I FEEL the sorrow of those about to lose, and be themselves lost... For no reason. Due to easily preventable circumstances now FAR too late to alter. Circumstances cravenly brought about with INTENT, by means of deception and semantics.

When the death finds you and yours you will feel rage. You will feel helplessness and loss. If there was ever a time to FEEL RAGE it is now before the actual losses mount. My rage is cold and timely, for I am knurd, the opposite of drunk, and horribly lucid. I still stand upon the field knowing that I will never leave it. If everyone could realize this oncoming wave of death now we might just win. For my part I will settle for just taking as many pieces of the bastards as possible before I finally rejoin The Great Majority.