Some hyrrhs

[Nibor the Priest]

(Hymns being for male deities.)


1. THE BATTLE HYMN (yeah ok) OF THE ERISTOCRACY (EXTENDED)
(First two verses and refrain by Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst)

Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of the Chao;
It is hov’ring o’er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of the Bomb;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

Refrain: Grand and gory old Discordja!
Grand and gory old Discordja!
Grand and gory old Discordja!
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

Not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak,
So she threw a golden apple, ’stead of turned the other cheek;
O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

For a Goddess, there is nothing worse than hearing she ain’t cute
So a trio of divinities began a fierce dispute
Over who should be the keeper of the shiny metal fruit;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

Young Paris was recruited as a holy referee
And each goddess made an offer of attempted bribery
He was promised wealth, or wisdom, or a shag, respectively;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

Now Paris was a healthy crimson-blooded Trojan boy
So he chose the prize of Helen and eloped with her to Troy;
If she weren't already married, they’d have lived a life of joy;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!

Menelaus sent his compliments with military force,
And the conflict that resulted was the Trojan War, of course
(That’s the one that took a decade and involved a massive horse);
Her Apple Corps s Strong!

Since the days of the Olympyans, many things have come to pass,
But we see the repercussions ev’ry time the folks en masse
Get defrauded by a promise from a giant horse’s ass;
Her Apple Corps is Strong!



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2. TTTO "ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL" BUT LESS WET


All things weird and whimsical
All creatures daft and strange;
All things nuts and nightmarish,
Discordia made the range.

She made the naked mole-rat,
And solar powered slugs;
And desert toads whose skin secretes
Kaleidoscopic drugs.

All things weird and whimsical
All beasts bizarre and odd;
All grotesque inventions of
Our Lady Chaos God!

The eye-blood squirting lizards;
The platypi with beaks;
She must have been on something when
She made those kooky freaks.

All things of insanity;
Each live non-sequitir;
She even made humanity,
And human beings made Her.