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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

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Started by Junkenstein, July 09, 2020, 06:38:37 PM

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altered

Quote from: Faust on January 31, 2023, 09:19:28 AM
Quote from: altered on January 31, 2023, 03:45:38 AM
I can kill it again.

But I won't, because I'm lazy and we deserve the hell we've made ourselves.
Anyone can kill PD, a slight breeze could kill PD. Its amazing the server is still online, we can only assume the truck in kazakstan it is sitting on still has it powered on while they examine the hard drive for any bitcoin Trix might have once stored there.

I mean, yeah. It's just more impressive if I act like I'm special.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Cain

Quote from: Faust on January 31, 2023, 09:19:01 AM
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on January 31, 2023, 12:14:55 AM
Quote from: Faust on January 30, 2023, 11:07:47 PM
They were wiped out, they just weren't fully extinguished
After you first said they were wiped out, you were surprised when when I told you the real population numbers.  But now you're doubling down, and pretending that "wiped out" means something other than "destroyed completely".  Or does "wiped out" have a different connotation in your dialect of English?  Maybe next time say "the population was devastated" instead.

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I was unaware of any previous reparations
Speaking of matters of which you are unaware would seem to be a problem.

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I didnt think that the process could have dragged on that long so you have me there
Well, at least you admit to being in error in two out of three cases.

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The bottom line is the Canadian government made a wholly inadequate token gesture and then had to be forced via legal means to meet its obligation, which I saw as a recent development based on the news story from last week.
That is arguably true.  Perhaps you understand why this is a sensitive issue domestically, and why misinformation might provoke a reaction?

You are right, I was wrong, this requires the record be set straight, an apology and some reparations

Yesterday we (a sleep deprived 40 year old who read a relevant news article recently) reported some information in error and wish to correct the record, we are happy to do so.

We stated that the colonizers of Canada wiped out all of the indigenous peoples. We would like to amend this statement to say
they eliminated merely most of them.

It was also stated that the Government of Canada had failed to address their role and history in these atrocities and had offered no restitution to the survivors of their atrocities.
This was false. The Canadanian Government has in fact offered an inexpensive apology and an insultingly low restitution of 27 Million in 2007 to be divided up amongst the 5% of their population who suffered under the systematic cultural and literal elimination of their peoples, before immediately embarking on a prolonged legal battle to avoid having to make any kind of realistic restitution which they grudgingly settled, some 16 years later.

We apologize for any misleading information above and offer 23c to be divided up amongst all those negatively impacted by these statements provided you can get it out of us in court.

You wont get any New York Times columns with writing like that.

You have to say something like "enduring native resentment over interactions with colonisers that result in fatal gun discharge" or something.

Cain

Suu,

Byzantine history is not something that was heavily covered by my schooling, in any sense. I say this so you can understand where I am coming from.

I have discovered Procopius's Anecdota. And I have questions. Many, many questions.

altered

Quote from: altered on January 12, 2023, 05:46:55 PM
A couple hours of work was put into this data visualization shit, trying to hand-build a map again. The idea was, if I just find a set of equations to plug numbers into, I can shut up and calculate everything. I knew one of the hazards of this would be a lot of blank space, but NOTHING prepared me for this bullshit.

Behold: ONE subsystem. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1002305555207041065/1063126320491528293/FmR9ZJNXwAEzNGw.png

How many do we have? Why, 7! 8 if you count the exoselves and 9 if you count the Pathways. Kill me. I crave release.

Of those very tiny circles in the group of seven, one reads "Dulug-3". Another reads "Adrusu". Can you tell which goes where? This is, admittedly, heavily zoomed out, but the zoom was needed to have any fucking hope of showing the whole thing. Why? 10000 pixels wide. It's impossible to make this usable as a reference to this fucking system.

So I'm down to trying to figure out how to make something interactive, because if it ain't interactive it ain't fucking happening. Good fucking god.

I finally completed just the interactive map part of this. I have yet to figure out how the hell to do the rest, and this is honestly just whatever draw.io belched out when I was done exporting the workbook as HTML, but it works! It looks okay! You can kind of read it! It's not a complete disaster!

https://decayingorbit.neocities.org/roughmap
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Cain on February 01, 2023, 04:26:35 AM
Suu,

Byzantine history is not something that was heavily covered by my schooling, in any sense. I say this so you can understand where I am coming from.

I have discovered Procopius's Anecdota. And I have questions. Many, many questions.

That's the little worm that spent his life following Belisarius around and writing horrible lies about him, right?
Molon Lube

Cain

The very same. Also the wild sex parties of Theodora and Justinian's shapeshifting demon proclivities.

I just imagine the monks in the Vatican archives being completely "wtf" on actually reading it. Like any normal person, I would think.

Scribbly

My Dad had a stroke over the weekend. He's as okay as you can be after something like that - he's back home, on some drugs and doesn't expect any serious long term consequences.

He blamed work for the amount of stress it put him under. They've given him a whole two weeks to recover before he's expected to be back to it.

After having last week off I went back to work and immediately had three time sensitive crises that my coworkers had left for me to deal with on my return.

Interesting bit of synchronicity there.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Scribbly

It has been another awful week tbh.

Brianna Ghey's murder hit me harder than I thought I could be hit by these things any more.

The fact that her death has become discourse just makes me want to choke people. Motherfuckers policing language and some fuckwits daring, DARING, to turn up to vigils with political party materials.

I am going to a vigil tomorrow night and I don't know if I will be able to restrain myself if someone tries to give me an SWP placard or some shit.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Faust

Just read about the murder there, fucking hell that's dark
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Scribbly

There's so much about it that is fucked and it fucks me up more seeing people dogpile onto folks who are clearly grieving and afraid. Or worse, trying to profit from this moment because solidarity is a commodity.

Literally makes me sick
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Doktor Howl

What the fuck is up with creeps using drones to record the murder scene before she was even removed from it?

Sick fucks.
Molon Lube

Anna Mae Bollocks

For what, clicks?

I was reading that in order to comply with UK laws, they're going to deadname her on the death certificate.

It just never stops.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Scribbly

yeah I had to leave the vigil it was mostly vultures holding up pictures of a dead girl before ranting about capitalism and the government

there are few situations where I don't like a good rant but that was one of them

fucking time and place people
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Scribbly

In more exciting Scribbly related news...

The private healthcare provider I have to use to get HRT because this country is awful have decided to treble the costs of their blood testing service and also demand more (and more expensive) tests, seemingly because they are no longer able to get the expensive drugs they used to funnel everyone towards so they need to recoup those losses elsewhere.

I discovered this when I went to get a refill and was told that I should have sent in a bunch of blood tests they didn't ask for about 10 days ago. Luckily, I am used to their incompetence and have a stockpile, but still.

This was frustrating to discover. This month is going to be tight and long-term I simply can't afford the new normal. So. Time to finally do the thing I have been putting off: involve the NHS in my care.

I did some research and it looks like there are a few steps I can take to try and make this as painless as possible (spoilers: it's still gonna be fucking painful). Step one is to get my name changed by deed poll. Which is cool. I have been living under my new name in all areas of my life except work for the past 8 months or so. It seems to have stuck. I'm happy with it. Lets go.

I had already arranged to see my parents this weekend for a different reason and both have expressed confused support in the past so I thought, hey, maybe they'd appreciate being involved with this. I need two witnesses (who can be literally anyone) and they were involved in naming me the first time around, maybe they'd like to be involved the second time around. I thought it'd be a cute gesture. Something nice.

This was a mistake.

Cue a 30 minute long conversation with my mother where I wind up trying to manage her emotions and explain that, no, I wasn't "messed up" by anything she did during pregnancy because I'm not, in fact, messed up. I'm just trans. And she warns me that my father is going to say some things that will hurt me this weekend. As though he's been planning it and workshopping lines with her or something.

I ultimately had to gently explain to her that this is something that will be happening either way; I was just offering her an opportunity to be part of it if she wanted. I am not asking for permission. Which got some vague mumblings about wanting to support me but it being very difficult because I am named for someone who was important in her life and losing that feels like erasing that person.

So that's great. Here I am trying to decide how to negotiate coming out in the last places I'm not so that I can actually afford to continue keeping on, preferably without blowing up my job because there's no fucking way I'm getting another one that pays half as well, and I'm having to relitigate the coming out I've already done. With the added bonus of wondering exactly what it is my Dad is going to try and throw in my face. I'm actually genuinely curious on that; I suspect the old man has massively overvalued the extent to which I value his input into this. And underestimated my willingness to just cut him out of my life if he's going to be a piece of shit.

Bitch, I'm trying to deal with a ~£1500 per year price hike in my medical care during a period when literally every other bill I have is also going through the roof. You think I've got the time or energy to massage your delicate fee-fees because you don't like that I wanna wear a dress? A dress, by the way, that I can't now fucking afford? Get out of my face.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

altered

#1154
Blood family is fucking disposable. Found family will stick knives in themselves to give you better handholds to climb up on.

My family, when I came out, interrogated me in a dark room and then said they refuse to support me in it. They made sure I became homeless and stayed that way, and then they had the gall to act hurt and upset when I left the area -- only to follow with death threats, of course. They abused my aunt's position in SSA to make sure it will be hell trying to get government aid for me. My mother dates a Nazi now.

Blood relation is happenstance. The people I have now would kill and die for me, so I'll do the same for them.

My family has found they have so little impact in my life that I haven't spoken to any of them in over 5 years. That was, itself, after a five year gap.

EDIT: Corrected to SSA, I wrote this like 15 minutes after waking up.
"I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me."

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.