Update.
Something has been seriously wrong with my brain for the past 3 weeks. I've been depressed, paranoid, my RSD has been worse than ever, and I had a full two days back in the low of Feb-April. Dissociation is a constant to the point that I remember ten non-contiguous minutes of Tuesday (I remember waking up from a fugue state while at the doctor's office), and nothing of Monday at all. This is the first day I've been able to think clearly enough to make a coherent thought that isn't entirely reactive or dissociative in nature. For the plurals/plural-awares: my entire system has been in fucking stasis for like 2 weeks, and until Lor and Nikki woke up tonight, I was having sincere doubts that I was still plural at all because I couldn't even sense the other members and our headspaces all vanished too. And I had a particular episode this past Saturday where I was unable to understand spoken language (I heard words but they didn't cohere into sentences) for an hour on VC with the beetle-swarm-partner (don't ask, or do ask and receive information that you cannot understand).
Sum total: YIKES! Brain is fucking broken!
We were able to rule out stroke and aneurysm through blood pressure alone (smoker with high cholesterol having a panic attack while their BP is being taken STILL ending up with a BP of 120/72 has a pretty impressive cardiovascular system), though I also independently ruled out stroke through lack of vision symptoms AND unilateral symptoms. The remaining options are tumor, chemical, infection and early-onset dementia, all of which are possible.
My polycule has been amazingly supportive through this nightmare (probably because we have someone who has had a stroke, someone who is dealing with brain cancer, and a plural-autistic-inhuman-BPD-bitch like me) but it's still terrifying and I'm still worried that my distance and pushing them away might have created rifts.
I'm basically putting this out here as kind of a record that I actually did have this moment of lucidity tonight. It really happened, even if tomorrow it's back into the soup. So.