I'm juggling too much shit.
Gluten-free diet, relearning how to prepare foods that don't come in pre-packaged forms, finally have pans that won't hold gluten because no one else will be (no one else had BETTER BE) using them, building a small database of recipes I can prep myself (thinking about shepherd's pie, but with corned beef and frozen-section roast beef since I can't handle raw meat until my fingers stop bleeding, and replacing the gluten-containing gravy with a mixture of bone broth and queso), trying to visit a crush of mine and a friend of mine because it's cheaper that way, trying to get healthcare back (no luck so far...), etc, etc, etc...
I cannot be trying to quit smoking again right now, absolutely not, but I'm zeroed out. Also, I need to come up with 100 dollars for unrelated reasons that relate to maintaining housing and sanity. (If I explained this one, you probably wouldn't believe me, but suffice to say: Wisconsin is currently a better bet for me than Chicago.)
And because of Elon Musk, crowdfunding has all dried up. I'm this || close to being able to hit self-sufficiency, and I have made actual strides toward it. I cook my own food! I wanted a little treat and I had a tiny bit of money for it but realized I had butter and generic gluten-free rice krispies cereal and marshmallows and I made myself a little treat INSTEAD! I'm capable of trading energy in to save money now, where I wasn't before!
But one manbaby's ego has made it so I can't make it the rest of the way up. Well, okay, there's that and the nature of our capitalist hellscape in general, plus the unique awfulness of USAian healthcare, etc, etc, but I would be able to just say "fuck you" to all of that and muscle through... if.
