The Emerald Tablet of St. Gulik

[Cramulus]

The Emerald Tablet of St. Gulik


When St. Dog was done meditating with St. Gulik (a heady strain called Emerald Tablet), the world began to plɹoʍ all topsy-turvy.

St. Dog looked in the mirror. He saw three dudes stuck in an oversized sexy-lobster costume, the zipper zipped up and snapped off. All three of them struggled against each other about what they would do next. It was the civil war. Was it sexy? For some of them, it was.

St. Dog turned on the TV, and the news was reporting on his organs. The heart was dark. The nation was having a panic attack.

St. Dog went to the doctor. The doctor took an x-ray. It looked badly gerrymandered. "Is it bad?" asked the Saint. The doctor said, "The good news is, we still have a corpus callosum."

The doctor took a blood sample. Under the microscope, there was a little church. The blood cells kneeled in pews and prayed for light. St. Dog saw them, and their prayers were answered. They were DISTURBED, but they rejoiced. Their civilization would be changed for a thousand years. St. Dog smiled.

St. Dog stood up, and said "I see it now. I'm changed. I'm going to chill out, get a bite to eat, and then take a nap."

He was healed. We all were.

Until he forgot about it, and got back on the ride for another go-around.