The EPA Oversight Blues (Hey Louie)

[Doktor Howl]

Hey Louie,

Just a few minutes to drop a line before meeting the EPA geeks out at the test site.  They're all up in a tizzy about a little Chrome 6 in the discharge WELL OKAY, SOME RADIATION TOO BUT STILL.  It's not like we're discharging to grade, for Chrissakes.  It is not going into groundwater, it is going into a big-ass lined tank and then shipped off by the appropriate people to a location that I am assured is appropriate.  And THIS time, there is nobody nicknamed "The Fish" involved.  It is a reputable, respectable, and bonded waste management firm.

Nobody can say that I am not concerned about the environment. 

Where do these EPA freaks come from?  Why do they all have generic names, receding hairlines, and all wear shitty off the rack suits?  It's like being cited for jaywalking by Agent Smith. But also with requests like "We'd like digital copies of your hazardous waste manifests going back to 1979, please."  Am I the only person that sees the flaw in that question?

We have coal mining companies dumping slurry into streams and lakes and nobody says a WORD, but have a Geiger counter squeak a little bit in a multi-zoned area and everyone loses their Goddamn mind.

Can't they see that there's SCIENCE to be done?  I mean, I applaud their diligence, but surely someone else could deal with this crap.  We could use the company's junior attorney.  Threaten to cut off his cocaine supply, and stick him in a Tivek suit.  He needs the practical experience required to be a corporate attorney, and he won't get that trying to chat up the AR/AP lady during the soul-breaking Friday Pizza Party.

Anyway, that's all I got.

Sincerely,
Hamish

[Doktor Howl]

35 gallons of cyanide?  Now, where the fuck did that come from?