Discordian Initiation Into 8 Circuit Awareness, An Ostrich Cult

[Doktor Howl]

geeze, cut a guy some slack, would ya?

What have you ever said or done that would earn you any slack?

1) we all know it's impossible for people to change

Have you changed?  Do you want to change?  Are you going to change?

i just try to make jokes but suffer from bad taste

Do you suffer from foot-in-mouth disease?  Do you make inappropriate comments that alienate everyone around you?  Do you fear you may be making an idiot of yourself in public?  Do you experience verbal diarrhea?

We have the solution you're looking for!

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP is a revolutionary product, first discovered by Mongolian Bhuddist monks in the Pleistocene epoch, and recently perfected in the laboratory.  SHUT UP is hypoallergenic, nut-free, and gluten free.  Four out of five ascetics have no comment on SHUT UP.

Ask your Doktor if SHUT UP is right for you.

We here at Shut Up, the American Journal of Horrorology, endorse this.

[Doktor Howl]

please choose the response that best conforms to your biases:

1) we all know it's impossible for people to change

2) sorry about that, if you could please provide a list of approved methods of aggression, I'll try to stick to those

3) no, you're the passive aggressive ass, i just try to make jokes but suffer from bad taste

4) this page is important. the opinions of those who post here are important.  only correct opinions will be tolerated.

5) PD doesn't care about your feelings, unless they get hurt by a passive aggressive ass, what a jerk!

It's not so much "hurt feelings" as a minor but persistent annoyance.

"HURR HURR THEY'RE TRIGGERED AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!"
- Rong, all alone at the party.

[ArchangelIdiotis]

Here's just a small sample of the really awesome power you'll get if you find the partially consumed yellow snowball necessary to join my ostrich cult:

How to turn invisible

It's pretty dark, not pitch black. You visualize pitch black shadows surrounding your body, you visualize them intently, and any time anyone shows up, you project the visualization into their psyche and you hold onto the projected image, keep projecting it. Make sure the shadows cover up -everything-.

If basic telepathy is real, you are now invisible. Unfortunately testing this ability is subjective as it is kind of dark, so people might not see you either way...

[Doktor Howl]

Here's just a small sample of the really awesome power you'll get if you find the partially consumed yellow snowball necessary to join my ostrich cult:

How to turn invisible

It's pretty dark, not pitch black. You visualize pitch black shadows surrounding your body, you visualize them intently, and any time anyone shows up, you project the visualization into their psyche and you hold onto the projected image, keep projecting it. Make sure the shadows cover up -everything-.

If basic telepathy is real, you are now invisible. Unfortunately testing this ability is subjective as it is kind of dark, so people might not see you either way...

But if I'm invisible, I will also by definition be blind.

[ArchangelIdiotis]

True, you're blind to the truth if you think you're invisible.

Or if you meant if it actually worked you'd be blind because the shadows are covering everything, erm, I could edit my post slightly so that *everything only means your whole body. You're projecting an image of blackness as what is communicated about your immediate area; you aren't telepathically transmitting everything you see.

Edit: another experiment in telepathic mind control. How vividly can you imagine the room you occupy without you in it? Brightly lit, so you can see everything, and you just project the image of the room without you in it as coming from your location into everyone's brain that shows up. You have to keep projecting the image for the duration you want to be invisible.

Only real Discordians deserve the superpower of invisibility.

[Doktor Howl]

True, you're blind to the truth if you think you're invisible.

Or if you meant if it actually worked you'd be blind because the shadows are covering everything, erm, I could edit my post slightly so that *everything only means your whole body. You're projecting an image of blackness as what is communicated about your immediate area; you aren't telepathically transmitting everything you see.

It sounds more like everyone else will be invisible, if light can't bounce off of my retinas.

This sounds like a really miserable superpower.