Author Topic: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks  (Read 5232 times)

EK WAFFLR

  • A Fairy-Tale Princess Trapped in a Viking Manbear's Body
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3635
  • Nordic Freakshow Armada of Sexhurt™
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2022, 10:15:24 pm »
Hi. I’m Waffles.

I’m….trying my damndest to rock and roll as much as humanly possible while still keeping something resembling a roof over my head. I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Doktor Howl

  • Slayer of Spam Bots
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 37021
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2022, 04:33:19 am »
Hi. I’m Waffles.

I’m….trying my damndest to rock and roll as much as humanly possible while still keeping something resembling a roof over my head. I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.

Long time no see, Deth Waffle!
Molon Lube

hooplala

  • gives people the beeps, and most certainly
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 15007
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2022, 03:37:05 am »
helloooo lovelies


I did it. I finally did it. Canada has become just like everywhere else.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Doktor Howl

  • Slayer of Spam Bots
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 37021
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2022, 04:25:38 am »
helloooo lovelies


I did it. I finally did it. Canada has become just like everywhere else.

???

What the fuck did you do to the timeline?
Molon Lube

hooplala

  • gives people the beeps, and most certainly
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 15007
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2022, 03:21:56 pm »
helloooo lovelies


I did it. I finally did it. Canada has become just like everywhere else.

???

What the fuck did you do to the timeline?

I made a boo-boo.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

chaotic neutral observer

  • Groucho Marxist
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1224
  • I saw what you did and I'm okay with it
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2022, 12:16:23 am »
helloooo lovelies


I did it. I finally did it. Canada has become just like everywhere else.

???

What the fuck did you do to the timeline?

I made a boo-boo.

Wait, that was you?
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

ArchangelIdiotis

  • Known
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • Why is my "." bloody?
    • View Profile
    • Individuate Church
Introducing the Antichrist
« Reply #21 on: November 15, 2022, 05:33:03 am »
I can't prove this part (I can prove everything else), but in Eschillion Key one of the main character's names was Simon Sade before I encountered the name Eddie Saayman, an individual Crowley named as his possible heir. The first two characters in the book are Ben & Eddie, as in been Eddie Saayman. Simon Sade = ed Ssaimon. Eddie Saayman was A.I. to Crowley, so if he reincarnated he'd be Aiwas.

Onto the stuff I can prove:

March 23, 1985 is my birthday. The Spring Equinox, to symbolize the rebirth of the Sun / Son of God. The number 23 of the Illuminati. The year after 1984.

The individual that requested I found the Individuate Church was born on the Ides of March, and was a childhood best friend of mine. Since the Individuates are a Discordian cult, he is the Pope of all world religion (everyone has to be a Discordian). He's the founder of the Individuates, so he's in charge. According to Christians on the End Times, the Antichrist's Pope of All World Religion betrays him with a shot to the head, and he comes back as Satan (he is just Satan's representative until).

I might be the bloodline of Jesus. My mother's maiden name was Bowers, and according to Bloodline of the Holy Grail: the Hidden Lineage of Jesus Revealed by Gardner, (page 151 of the copy I first encountered), Bors is suspected of being Merovingian. Bowers is also descended from the same root bloodline as the Rothschilds, Bauer.

One year and month before I was born on Valentine's Day, Babaji winked before his heart stopped. He was suspected in some circles of being Shiva.

I'm a 37 year old Virginian (born and stayed), and an asexual virgin.

I have long brown hair and a beard, and look superficially like Jesus Christ.

Edit: I am not promoting the opinion that Christianity, nor the Antichrist of Revelation Prophecy, is legitimate to believe in.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 08:09:44 am by ArchangelIdiotis »

Faust

  • Tyrannical Overlord
  • Deserved It
  • *
  • Posts: 10433
  • The Greasy Strangler
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2022, 10:03:15 am »
Its been a long time since we had a cloak wearing, candles at midnight, desperately wanting the Esoteric Order of Dagon to be "Real" poster
Sleepless nights at the chateau

chaotic neutral observer

  • Groucho Marxist
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1224
  • I saw what you did and I'm okay with it
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2022, 01:17:10 pm »
March 23, 1985 is my birthday. The Spring Equinox, to symbolize the rebirth of the Sun / Son of God.
The Spring Equinox in 1985 was on March 20th.  You were three days late.

Quote
The individual that requested I found the Individuate Church was born on the Ides of March, and was a childhood best friend of mine. [...] He's the founder of the Individuates, so he's in charge.
He asked you to found it, but then founded it himself?  What a jerk.

Quote
Since the Individuates are a Discordian cult, he is the Pope of all world religion (everyone has to be a Discordian).
Actually, the doctrine of everyone being a Pope was rescinded by Pope Autochthonous VI.  He said if everyone was a Pope, that made it a meaningless distinction.  He then went on to decree that no-one is a Pope, which is also meaningless, but saves space on his letterhead.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

ArchangelIdiotis

  • Known
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • Why is my "." bloody?
    • View Profile
    • Individuate Church
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #24 on: November 15, 2022, 06:26:06 pm »
Its been a long time since we had a cloak wearing, candles at midnight, desperately wanting the Esoteric Order of Dagon to be "Real" poster

I don't think my "evidence" should be taken too seriously, but consider it better than what some religions promote as proof of the authenticity of their faith.

I'm actually only hoping to convince Theistic Satanists.

March 23, 1985 is my birthday. The Spring Equinox, to symbolize the rebirth of the Sun / Son of God.
The Spring Equinox in 1985 was on March 20th.  You were three days late.

23 in my synchronicity research symbolizes importance. It seems to crop up around significant "good" and "bad" events. There was no way to stage a more significant, equinox adjacent birthday.

altered

  • More Future, All Bad.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2481
  • Wielder of "Oh No Not Again"
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #25 on: November 15, 2022, 07:24:49 pm »
I am legally named Curse. I can be seen south of Chicago smoking like a freight train and making horrible sounds to the beat of the most godawful music you've ever heard. If it sounds like a demon trying to transmute itself into Fred Durst and looks like cyberpunk roadkill, it's probably me.

I actually am a hypnotist. Like, "I have been offered money to hypnotize someone and declined the payment because I wanted the experience." I've been legitimately accused of running a cult, where my hypnosis was used to brainwash members. Actually what I do with my hypnosis is take willing people to a dark, distant place and surgically mutilate their soul. So I'm basically a cenobite and also would probably be guilty of fraud if I took that money, given they would not in fact wake up with a new pair of mechanical limbs. My middle name is legally Fraudulence, so this is fitting.

I have a dozen holy names, but am most fond these days of "Wielder of 'Oh No Not Again'," as in those are the words you'll say when I'm around.

I am, pay close attention now, a disabled Jewish trans fem-leaning non-binary unpersoned outcast plural nightmare collective. I have over 100 people in my head and most of them aren't remotely human. I reject the label of human or person, I am explicitly an object. Of terror, naturally, but still an object. My gender is fucked in ways you cannot comprehend. I'm in the process of converting to Judaism, if I can ever find a rabbi who will deal with my weird ass.

I earned every ounce of my weird with blood and suffering, too, so in terms of dickwaving edgelord posters around here, I'm top bitch.

I am telling you this not to get you to submit to my glory, but so you stop trying so fucking hard to be cool and start being yourself.


ETA: I should be sure to note that you shouldn't turn this into a idol situation either. I'm not building a cult, because worshippers are a fucking hassle. I feed my fans to the Nessies. I'd say you can ask rong, but rong's long gone. Just stop acting like you're on fucking stage.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 07:38:30 pm by altered »
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

ArchangelIdiotis

  • Known
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • Why is my "." bloody?
    • View Profile
    • Individuate Church
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #26 on: November 16, 2022, 07:04:25 am »
Hopefully not too many Nazi Satanists frequent this message board to witness this confession: I was test running how it would look to a bunch of skeptics if I promoted myself as the Antichrist.

The coincidences, or synchronicities, (I honestly don't know which), that I listed are all real, and I can prove all except the first, like I said. To a skeptic, this doesn't prove anything. Signs and symbols. But my ultimate goal isn't to impress skeptics. It is to schism (hopefully a bulk % of) the religious fanatical minded Nazi Satanists, by providing "proof" Satan is at war with bigotry and fascism. By being the Antichrist with an Ides of March Pope.

If I do a good job, the rest of the Nazis can't trust the Nazi Satanists even if not very many schism.

Shiva is Satan to the Nazi Satanists (the point of the Babaji coincidence/synchronicity). If Nazi Satanists are reading this, maybe they can discern more from the symbolic nature of events than so-called "skeptics," and know an Antichrist when they see one.

-Aiwas?

chaotic neutral observer

  • Groucho Marxist
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1224
  • I saw what you did and I'm okay with it
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #27 on: November 16, 2022, 02:11:55 pm »
I was test running how it would look to a bunch of skeptics if I promoted myself as the Antichrist.
You were promoting yourself as the Antichrist?  I honestly didn't realize that.

I guess I thought he would be taller.
Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

altered

  • More Future, All Bad.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2481
  • Wielder of "Oh No Not Again"
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #28 on: November 16, 2022, 08:05:10 pm »
So, hold on: you're trying to impress Nazis. Is that right?

I don't care about the rest of your weird little scheme, because you aren't special enough to pull off what you claim to want to do anyway.

But.

You're trying to impress Nazis? That's your step one? Please make the truth abundantly clear to me.
“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's over 100 of us in this meat-suit. You'd think it runs like a ship, but it's more like a hundred and ten angry ghosts having an old-school QuakeWorld tournament, three people desperately trying to make sure the gamers don't go hungry or soil themselves, and the Facilities manager weeping in the corner as the garbage piles high.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 64374
    • View Profile
Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« Reply #29 on: November 16, 2022, 08:18:44 pm »
If Nazis cared about logical contradictions in their worldview, they wouldn't be Nazis.