Hi, I'm still Hamish Howl, and I still hate humans.
Things are looking pretty bleak out there, in theocratic, Handmaiden's Tale kinda way. I warned you guys about this shit way back in 2003, but you didn't listen...But that's okay, because I knew you wouldn't listen. Nobody ever does. I am Cassandra with a dad bod.
But now the coming weird times are HERE, and warnings are of no further use, so I guess I should be telling you how to get by in this dystopian nightmare they built around us while we were dozing. I do in fact have useful advice, so let me just start off with the important bit:
Anyone can be Hamish Howl.
That's right. Anyone at all can Hamish, and everyone can Howl. Ask yourself this: In the nightmare future in which we live, would you rather be a speed bump, or would you be a mad scientist that corrupts everything around you?
This is really a no-brainer. There's nothing you or I can do to stop the relentless tide of po'bucker trash, but we CAN make their fucking eyes bleed. You can inflict yourself on anyone who feels the NEED to make excuses for all this mishagoss going on around us. Whether it's a knee in the nuts or parking lot bumper sticker antics, OR JUST "ATTENDING" CHURCH on Sunday, you can hand those bastards back all the misery which they have felt the need to hand to US.
Let's face facts: We're doomed. But like mama always told me, Save your brightest smile for hell, Darlings!"
You better be Hamish. You'd better Howl. It's your last chance.
