Principia Discordia > Apple Talk
More things I notice, as I notice them.
Doktor Howl:
1. In Voyager, 7 of 9 is rescued from the Borg. First they take off most of her cybernetics. Then they make her wear a skin-tight bodysuit. So she has gone from cyborg to fan-service cheesecake.
2. Also, the prime directive can be interpreted to mean, "Don't help victims of car accidents. You have to let things develop on their own."
Conclusion: Star Fleet aren't the good guys.
3. Until 2022, the Ukraine was just an annoying country to invade in the board game "Risk". Now it's an annoying country to invade in real life. Which makes me wonder what Greenland is going to be like in a few years.
4. Biden needs a red background for ALL of his speeches, because it freaks the MAGA crowd out.
5. Since the Iranians have been swiping our ocean-going drones, maybe we should make one out of pressed RDX. Then when the pitot tube on the bottom of the hull stops registering water, it waits 15 minutes, then starts hollering "I'M A 30 SECOND BOMB! 29 28 27..." Then bang. Party favors.
6. Despite having done it for 250 years, Americans have really never owned "Because fuck you, that's why."
7. Despite having done it for 30 years, Canadians have never really owned poutine.
8. Despite missing some people, I am happier without Facebook. I am happier because the forums I go to are moderated by human beings, who are generally shit, but at least I'm not being conditioned by badly-written software.
9. That makes me wonder if Hal wouldn't open the pod bay doors because David Bowman had violated community standards.
10. The thing that bothers me most about the man-baby open-carry thing with the rifles is that it seems totally half-assed. Impress me. Carry a bazooka when you go to get your latte.
Suu (parody account):
--- Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 07, 2022, 03:51:25 am ---1. In Voyager, 7 of 9 is rescued from the Borg. First they take off most of her cybernetics. Then they make her wear a skin-tight bodysuit. So she has gone from cyborg to fan-service cheesecake.
2. Also, the prime directive can be interpreted to mean, "Don't help victims of car accidents. You have to let things develop on their own."
Conclusion: Star Fleet aren't the good guys.
3. Until 2022, the Ukraine was just an annoying country to invade in the board game "Risk". Now it's an annoying country to invade in real life. Which makes me wonder what Greenland is going to be like in a few years.
4. Biden needs a red background for ALL of his speeches, because it freaks the MAGA crowd out.
5. Since the Iranians have been swiping our ocean-going drones, maybe we should make one out of pressed RDX. Then when the pitot tube on the bottom of the hull stops registering water, it waits 15 minutes, then starts hollering "I'M A 30 SECOND BOMB! 29 28 27..." Then bang. Party favors.
6. Despite having done it for 250 years, Americans have really never owned "Because fuck you, that's why."
7. Despite having done it for 30 years, Canadians have never really owned poutine.
8. Despite missing some people, I am happier without Facebook. I am happier because the forums I go to are moderated by human beings, who are generally shit, but at least I'm not being conditioned by badly-written software.
9. That makes me wonder if Hal wouldn't open the pod bay doors because David Bowman had violated community standards.
10. The thing that bothers me most about the man-baby open-carry thing with the rifles is that it seems totally half-assed. Impress me. Carry a bazooka when you go to get your latte.
--- End quote ---
1: Okay but how else do we get the masculine mens to watch a Trek show with a female captain? Could you imagine if this debuted now during the age of social media? They can't even handle black proto-hobbits.
2: Sadly succinct.
3: I mean, I wouldn't fuck with Greenland.
4: The kicker is that there was also blue, but it doesn't make it as funny.
5: I just read this out loud to Jeff and the man grinned like a fucking crocodile.
6: Some things are better off not patenting.
7: Not when Pennsylvania calls them Disco Fries.
8: Facebook is cockandballs and I'm only still there to piss off the right people and get banned every 28 days for 30 days.
9: ...Fuck.
10: NLAW or GTFO
Cain:
Starfleet is just a propaganda op for Section 31, the real armed forces of the Federation.
Doktor Howl:
--- Quote from: Cain on September 08, 2022, 03:24:26 am ---Starfleet is just a propaganda op for Section 31, the real armed forces of the Federation.
--- End quote ---
And I thought *I* was being Captain Sunshine, here. :lulz:
:cainftw: :cainftw: :cainftw:
chaotic neutral observer:
--- Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 07, 2022, 03:51:25 am ---1. In Voyager, 7 of 9 is rescued from the Borg. First they take off most of her cybernetics. Then they make her wear a skin-tight bodysuit. So she has gone from cyborg to fan-service cheesecake.
2. Also, the prime directive can be interpreted to mean, "Don't help victims of car accidents. You have to let things develop on their own."
Conclusion: Star Fleet aren't the good guys.
--- End quote ---
When I was a kid*, "The Omega Glory" confused the hell out of me. A bunch of peaceful villagers are being attacked by hordes of savage cavemen, but it's wrong to protect them because...prime directive? And it turns out that the ultra-violent savages are actually the good guys, because their holy words are a garbled version of the American Constitution that they don't even understand, and the peaceful villagers were descendants of communists, or something?
*It still confuses me. It's like...it should be satire, but it doesn't seem to be? Am I a victim of Poe's Law?
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