Oh, it's not you. Voice software actually sucks.
If you want some quick and dirty voice hacks:
In your regular speaking voice, hold a note like you're singing. It will be off key, it doesn't matter.
Move your tongue around while holding the note. You can hear the sound change, and you can feel the place where the air is vibrating most in your airway move around -- that's where the vocal resonance is. If you can't feel it, drop the pitch some until you can.
Now, instead of using your tongue (you need that to talk), move the resonance with your throat, lips and cheeks. You want to place the resonance at the center of the roof of your mouth, right at the back of the hard palate. It'll take a little work, but it's not impossible to figure it out.
Hold the resonance there and begin talking normally. Talk a LOT. Check the resonance every so often because early on it'll wander around. You'll have a strange monotone at this time, but you're just getting used to keeping your vocal resonance placed where you want it to be.
When you think you've got it down naturally, raise the pitch range of your voice just a bit, and then try bringing in your natural pitch changes and tone with it. You want a balance -- if you end up falling out of the desired pitch range, dial back your pitch changes and tone. If you start sounding like Microsoft Sam, play with the pitch range you want to be in until you sound natural again. If you ever lose the resonance, you have to find it again before you can continue.
When ready, record.
First time I did this took me about 3 hours, and I could keep it going for about a half hour before I'd lose the resonance and have to go through the process of finding it again. It's second nature now, entirely unconscious.
