Have an Awesome Afflux!

[Abbot Mythos]

Yes, it's once again the 50th day of the season of The Aftermath (That's December 8th according to that old, outdated heathen calendar.), and time to celebrate Afflux!

Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure how to properly celebrate this sacred Discordian Holyday. Now, according to the Discordian Wiki, "In America and some parts of Europe, Afflux is the Discordian equivilent of Christmas." (Someone didn't use spell check when they wrote that.) But, the due diligent search I did on PD.com led me to beleive that Moosemas now serves that purpose. And, in the Urban Dictionary it is written, "Moosemas is floating winter holiday meant as a non-religious substitute for Christmas, Hanukkah, and other seasonal holidays popularized by Orthodox Consumerism." (That reads like it was written by Boris Badenov.) Further, I also found the claim that "Moosemas was created in 1984 by The Coven of Our Lady of the Woods." And, on top of that, that heresy originated in of all places, Wisconsin!

Being a Discordian Fundamentalist, I obviously have a serious problem with Moosemas ... that I'm perfectly willing to ignore for the sake of celebrating yet another Holyday Holiday. But, that brings me back to Afflux: How is our sacred Discordian Holyday to be properly celebrated? I mean, I don't mind springing for all of the booze and food for Afflux, Christmas with the heathens, New Year's Eve with even more heathens, and Moosemas, but I'm not at all happy about getting nailed for three rounds of gift buying in a little over a month.

And, my research found that December 8th is also the following:

Bodhi Day - Appropriate for those of us who are Buddhists, but a downer to what I expect from our Afflux Holyday Holiday.   
National Crossword Solvers Day - No, thank you.
National Salesperson Day - Absolutely not, thank you!
National Brownie Day - Now this I can work with!
National Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. - This does have possibilities, but still ...

Oh my, what's a Born Once Discordian to do.

[Abbot Mythos]

Yes, it's once again the 50th day of the season of The Aftermath, yada yada ...

[Abbot Mythos]

Tis the 50th day of the Season of The Aftermath, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3191. And, verily, I say unto you, 'tis time to celebrate Afflux, the Season's Holyday.

I'm still unsure about how to properly celebrate Afflux. But, I think it's safe to assume that knocking back respectable quantities of alcohol, after, of course, pouring out a libation to our Blessed Goddess Eris, is in accordance with the spirit of any and all of our Discordian holydays. (And, if it isn't, to my knowledge, no Discordian sage has ever argued otherwise.)

But, perhaps, as we near the end of another Year of Our Lady of Discord, it's time to contemplate the seasonal cycles of our POEE Calendar (While consuming a steady stream of alcoholic beverages, of course). For, in the real world, it is self evident that Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and The Aftermath of what came before, happen in infinite numbers, at any time, all the time. And, the naming of our five calendar seasons after the five conditions merely serves as a constant, symbolic reminder of the true, unvarnished nature of the universe we inhabit. And so, Afflux, similar to all of our Discordian 'flux holydays,' serves as a specific reminder that The Aftermath is not a static condition, and that it will slowly morph back into the type of Chaos that originally birthed our entire universe.       

Hail Eris!   All Hail Discordia!