In Memorium: What happened to everyone, part 1 Enrico and Pango

[Doktor Howl]

It was going to the be the best smackdown EVER.  A cage match between the Generalissimo and PANGO.  Fortunately, given the results, I was busy waxing the cat¹ and couldn't make it to the Windsor, Ontario Thunderdome.

After much fanfare, the big day finally came.  The contestants came walking down the steps on their respective side of the arena.  PANGO was wearing what appeared to be the skin of a republican and carried a Samoan war club.  The Generalissimo was butt naked and covered in what appeared to be IHOP sauce.

They entered the cage, and the ref stepped up to them.  Unfortunately, he was unable to explain the rules because PANGO wouldn't SHUT UP, and then the Generalisimmo put his cigar out in the ref's eye socket.

Then the bell rang and they charged each other.

They mutually annihilated, at 600 grams of TNT per gram of their fleshy, horribly mobile flesh.

The resulting shock wave took out the entire arena, all 6 other buildings in Windsor, and cleaned part of Detroit.  The water in the Detroit river was all shoved into Lake Erie, leaving a strangely untouched Jimmy Hoffa standing on the river bed in his concrete loafers.

Obviously, all the fish in Lake Erie died.  Again.

The shock wave caused all the seagulls in Hamilton, Burlington, and Toronto to go absolutely berserk.  There were no survivors.

So if you were wondering where those two went, or what happened to Canada, now you know.


¹ Unlike previous disclaimers, this IS an obscure sports reference.  Technically.