PD.com: real discordians need not apply

[East Coast Hustle]

I am tired of these lamers writing libels on my sexual practices.

you have to practice?

Whether or not I have to practice is not the issue.  It's that these trolls are so lame that they need to go to spreading false rumors of a sexual nature.  I am not impressed with the Dooms' trolling abilities.

the trolling is admittedly weak...I'd offer to show them a thing or two, but they'll have to pick a new target first...

[Bob the Mediocre]

We'll see if what I did gets noticed.

:shifty eyes:

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

void=sex

No-one told me that before.  I woudl have gone sooner if I had known.

At least it's never too late.

[Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell]

Yeah, you...you, over there in the corner writing poetry that no one else cares about...you over there talking about how your weird hair or freaky clothes are inspiring discord by making people treat you as a social pariah...you, baking the cookies and pie...what are you doing? I mean, what are you actually DOING? you profess to adhere to some noble idea of being the monkeywrench in the MACHINE, and yet, you stand idly by and occasionally grease the gears yourself, oblivious to the fact that you're just as much one of THEM as THEY are...you may frown on the idea of "serious discordians", but do we not, upon taking on the mantle of Erisianism, also take upon ourselves some (ir)responsibility to effect the dynamic which we profess to give our allegiance to? Do we not sully the (not so)good name of our brothers and sisters in discord when we do nothing to bring the discord into not only our lives, but the lives of others? Are we not, in fact, worse than those we call Greyface? For Greyface is just a cog in the MACHINE, he knows not that he is part of a greater evil, he just goes to work, goes to the bar, goes home to his nagging wife and screamy kids, and gets up the next day to do it again, oblivious all the while to the random wonder that he is surrounded by...but YOU (and I include myself in this accusation too, for I am no better than my peers) should know better...you are KNOWINGLY perpetuating the imbalance between hodge and podge...you are INTENTIONALLY depriving the world of SLACK..."So what?" you say..."who are you to tell me what to do?" you say...to which I can only invoke rule number one (KYFMS) and try to assure you that I AM trying...and  that for you not to do the same is not only irresponsible and dangerous, but just downright LAME. Go call yourself wahtever you want, but do not come to me calling yourself a Discordian, for you are not worthy of the name...get off your ass...go outside...look around you at the world that you inhabit...do you not see the grid? the pattern? the plotted points on the graph that dictate the movement and actions of everything around you? of course you do...you wouldn't have gotten this far if you didn't...but now it's time ot take the next step...the REAL step...the only step that truly MATTERS...it's time for you to start living up to your own self-professed ideals...go now! go slash a tire on a delivery truck while it's parked on a major city street...go jam epoxy resin into the coin slots of all the parking meters...go write not one letter to your congressman, but 1000 letters, all signed by different people, all crying out for the repeal of laws prohibiting voluntary autoerotic cannibalism...go open the valves on a tank of NO2 in the lobby of a major investment firm...go rotate all the streetsigns in your neighborhood 90 degrees to the left...GO DO SOMETHING...now, before you wake up one day, go to your crappy job, go to the bar, come home to your nagging wife and screaming kids, and get up the next day to do it all over again....

But what if I'm too lazy?

[East Coast Hustle]

then you'll either die homeless and sick, or be ground under the gears of the MACHINE until you're compliant, just like everyone else.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Or you can trhow a wrench into the machine and if that doesn't work you can set your neighbor on fire.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah, you...you, over there in the corner writing poetry that no one else cares about...you over there talking about how your weird hair or freaky clothes are inspiring discord by making people treat you as a social pariah...you, baking the cookies and pie...what are you doing? I mean, what are you actually DOING? you profess to adhere to some noble idea of being the monkeywrench in the MACHINE, and yet, you stand idly by and occasionally grease the gears yourself, oblivious to the fact that you're just as much one of THEM as THEY are...you may frown on the idea of "serious discordians", but do we not, upon taking on the mantle of Erisianism, also take upon ourselves some (ir)responsibility to effect the dynamic which we profess to give our allegiance to? Do we not sully the (not so)good name of our brothers and sisters in discord when we do nothing to bring the discord into not only our lives, but the lives of others? Are we not, in fact, worse than those we call Greyface? For Greyface is just a cog in the MACHINE, he knows not that he is part of a greater evil, he just goes to work, goes to the bar, goes home to his nagging wife and screamy kids, and gets up the next day to do it again, oblivious all the while to the random wonder that he is surrounded by...but YOU (and I include myself in this accusation too, for I am no better than my peers) should know better...you are KNOWINGLY perpetuating the imbalance between hodge and podge...you are INTENTIONALLY depriving the world of SLACK..."So what?" you say..."who are you to tell me what to do?" you say...to which I can only invoke rule number one (KYFMS) and try to assure you that I AM trying...and  that for you not to do the same is not only irresponsible and dangerous, but just downright LAME. Go call yourself wahtever you want, but do not come to me calling yourself a Discordian, for you are not worthy of the name...get off your ass...go outside...look around you at the world that you inhabit...do you not see the grid? the pattern? the plotted points on the graph that dictate the movement and actions of everything around you? of course you do...you wouldn't have gotten this far if you didn't...but now it's time ot take the next step...the REAL step...the only step that truly MATTERS...it's time for you to start living up to your own self-professed ideals...go now! go slash a tire on a delivery truck while it's parked on a major city street...go jam epoxy resin into the coin slots of all the parking meters...go write not one letter to your congressman, but 1000 letters, all signed by different people, all crying out for the repeal of laws prohibiting voluntary autoerotic cannibalism...go open the valves on a tank of NO2 in the lobby of a major investment firm...go rotate all the streetsigns in your neighborhood 90 degrees to the left...GO DO SOMETHING...now, before you wake up one day, go to your crappy job, go to the bar, come home to your nagging wife and screaming kids, and get up the next day to do it all over again....

RAH!  9/10!

[Cain]

What was needed for the extra point? *starts to take notes*

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What was needed for the extra point? *starts to take notes*

BIG, RED STRAPS!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

That's about the only thing that could have topped the piece off.